I have to admit that I’m a sucker for a good cliché. If I’m not rushed for time, I will move mountains to find the perfect cliché and go out of my way to use it in a sentence. I like to run it up the flagpole and see if anyone salutes. Some people love them to the moon and back. Others would not touch a cliché with a ten-foot pole. My philosophy is, “to each his own.”

How many clichés did you identify in the previous paragraph?

First, perhaps I should explain exactly what a cliché is. It is an expression that has become overused, sometimes to the point of losing its original meaning entirely. Most clichés start out as novel or witty remarks and “go viral,” being oft-quoted by others until they become quite famous (and a bit shop-worn). Clichés are often trite and can sometimes be downright irritating.

Usually, there is nothing wrong with a cliché, from a grammar perspective. However, there are certain times – and certain reasons – for not using them, in my opinion. Here are a few of those:

1. Clichés are stale. By the time a cliché becomes a cliché, it is no longer on the cutting edge of creativity. (And yes, “cutting edge” is a cliché!) Therefore, if you want your writing to be truly fresh and interesting, I recommend that you avoid the use of clichés whenever possible. There are more than one million words in the English language; surely you can put two or three together to accurately describe what you want to say, in your own words! Who knows, maybe you will come up with a magic phrase that will one day become a cliché in its own right! It is this concept that I had in mind when choosing the title “Fresh Writing” for this blog post.

2. Clichés do not impress. To someone who may be reading your resume or an article you have written, use of clichés may seem “lazy.” Admittedly, it is often much easier to mine our stash of heard-it-before phrases, especially if we are rushed. Some readers may even equate the cliché with slang. Especially in formal writing, slang should be avoided, and so should clichés. Consider the intended audience for your work, the importance you want to attach to what you are writing, and the impression you wish to leave with your reader before deciding whether or not to use a cliché.


3. Clichés can be misused. Many clichés are ancient, their true meaning lost over time. In some cases, the way they are used now has absolutely no connection to what they originally were intended to convey. If you use a cliché in your writing, make sure that you, yourself understand what it means, that it fits the context of what you are writing, and that it will be easily understood by your audience.

4. Clichés may not make sense. What someone writes in Anytown, USA, may be read someday on the other side of the globe. The written word has no borders. For this reason, cultural differences should be taken into consideration. Not all clichés translate well into other languages or other cultures. You can avoid misinterpretation and ensure better clarity and understanding by omitting clichés whenever possible.

And now…Drum roll please!! Here is the answer to the question posed at the beginning of this post:

There are eight (8) clichés in the first paragraph. They are:

1. “I’m a sucker for…” – I very much like and/or am easily persuaded by…
2. “rushed for time” – In a hurry
3. “move mountains” – Make strenuous effort
4. “go out of my way” – Put forth extra effort, even if it is inconvenient
5. “run it up the flagpole and see if anyone salutes” – State a premise and see if it is accepted by others
6. “to the moon and back” – Greatly
7. “wouldn’t touch it with a ten-foot pole” – Would avoid
8. “to each his own” – Everyone has his/her own opinion

I may have used a few others elsewhere in this post, and I'll leave it to you to find them.

As a self-described “grammar nerd,” I can assure you that there are far more than twelve errors making me gnash my teeth and making my dentist clap his hands with glee! However, for the sake of saving my time and your eye strain, I will limit this blog post to only those which have caught my attention lately, mostly because I have heard them more than once in the last few weeks:

1. Can’t hardly/won’t hardly/doesn’t hardly: This is a double negative, something about which I devoted an entire blog post not long ago. Double negatives cancel each other out; therefore, you end up saying the opposite of what you actually intended to say.

2. I could care less: This is an example of what I call a “hidden” double negative. If you could care less, that means you do care to some extent. If you really don’t give a hoot, then you could not (or couldn’t) care less.

3. Not a good ideal: I have never understood why some folks put an “l” at the end of “idea.” That changes the word from a noun to an adjective. To express the opinion that a thought or suggestion is not the optimal one, you should say, “It’s not a good idea.”

4. I feel kindly sick today: “Kindly” is an adverb meaning benevolent, warm-hearted, caring. “Kind of” means more or less, approximate. So, if you are feeling a little under the weather, then you are kind of sick.

5. Waiting with baited breath: To bait something is to lure it (think of fishing and that worm dangling on the end of a hook). However, if you want to suspend or reduce something (your breath, perhaps), then you would bate it. “Bate” appears to be a derivative of “abate,” which means to reduce, lessen, moderate, decrease or subside. One trick to help you remember: “Bated” has fewer letters than “baited.” Therefore, if you are decreasing your breathing, you also decrease the size of the word describing it.

6. Centers around: “Centers” implies specificity, pinpointing something. “Around” is much more vague and approximate. Therefore, it is illogical to state that something “centers around” something else. "Centers on" or "revolves around" are preferred.

7. Hot water heater: If your water is already hot, why do you need to heat it? “Hot water heater” is redundant. Simply call it a “water heater,” because that’s what it is!

8. Realtor: This one is a pronunciation error.  Do you remember the flak that President George W. Bush got when he said, “nuke-u-lar” instead of “nuke-le-ar”? Well, people who say “real-a-tor” instead of “real-tor” elicit that same reaction from me!

9. No problem: When used as a reply to “Thank you,” this phrase is insulting! I did not ask if you encountered any difficulties in fulfilling my request; I am merely expressing my gratitude to you. Similarly, replying with “Sure!” is not responsive. The proper thing to say when someone expresses thanks is, “You’re welcome.”  

10. Alls I’m telling you is…: This one really drives me nuts! “All” is already a collective, meaning the whole. In effect, “alls” pluralizes the plural, making it redundant and making it wrong.

11. The baby is one years old: Kind of the opposite of #10 above. “One” is singular; therefore, “year” should be singular, also. “The baby is one year old.”

12. I seen it: You might have seen something, or maybe you saw it. But you never seen it. “Seen” is the present perfect form of the verb and must be accompanied by “have” or “has.” “Saw” is the simple past tense.

BONUS TIP:

OK, okay, O.K.: Which is correct? I was surprised when I researched this in order to answer a question. According to what I learned, it is OK to use “OK” and “okay,” but it is not OK to use “O.K.” Regarding the first two versions, “OK” is the most widely-used. Only about a third of the population uses “okay.” The reason that “O.K.” is unacceptable is that the periods imply an abbreviation, but there are no real words being abbreviated.

Whether you choose “OK” or “okay,” please keep in mind that either is perceived as informal speech or writing. Therefore, if you are writing formally, it is preferable not to use it in any form.

As consumers, all of us have, at one time or another, had a less than stellar experience. It may have been poor customer service, bad food at a restaurant, a product that did not work as advertised, a cable guy who did not show up on the appointed day, or a billing snafu. In cases where we need our problem addressed immediately, we typically place a telephone call or send an email to the “Contact Us” address listed on a company’s website. However, for less urgent matters, or in the case of dissatisfaction with the outcome of other means of communication, it has been my experience that it is worth the price of a postage stamp to take the time to write a good, old-fashioned consumer letter! Sometimes I write these letters in lieu of the telephone call or email (if it is something non-urgent in nature). At other times, my letter serves the purpose of confirming what I was told on the phone, or (most often), to complain that my problem was not resolved by my previous interactions with the company.

I find many good reasons for writing consumer letters, as opposed to telephoning, emailing, texting, or posting on social media. Some of these are listed below:

• Telephone calls are likely to be handled by “customer service representatives” manning phone banks with scripted responses which may not address the specific problem you have. Telephoning often requires slogging through a pre-recorded menu, pressing button after button, just to get to a human being. Even if you do successfully navigate the menu, you are likely to find yourself placed in an indefinite holding pattern, listening to the most awful music ever composed, periodically interrupted by a recorded assurance that “your call is important to us.” Once a live person does finally answer, you are lucky indeed to decipher what they are saying, due to their heavily accented English (usually an indication that the company has outsourced their customer service function overseas). If your specific problem cannot be addressed through the scripts they have at hand, or if you are dissatisfied with the representative in any way, escalating your call to a supervisor can be a nightmare and odds are it will be no more successful than what you have already endured.

• I personally detest those online forms on the “Contact Us” pages of company websites! They always seem to require me to pick a category from a list that does not have anything remotely relevant to my specific problem. Similar to the telephone customer service representative, the email response is also likely to be “canned” (scripted) and not helpful.

• A hard copy letter, mailed to the company, can serve as written documentation, in the event it is needed in the future (for example, as evidence in litigation of your good faith effort to resolve the problem prior to seeking legal recourse), or to confirm or clarify the issue you previously discussed via telephone or email.  It is usually a simple matter to find the company’s headquarters address on their website. Also, key executives typically are named there, thereby helping you determine to whom to direct your letter. By writing directly to the company, your letter has a better chance of reaching someone who has the authority to do whatever it takes to satisfy you as a customer, without running to his/her supervisor for approval.

• Putting your thoughts in writing in a consumer letter can help you sort through the problem. Cooler heads prevail when a bit of time has passed between the incident and sitting down to recount it on paper. The act of writing an accurate and succinct description of what happened may serve as a “sieve” to filter out the emotions of the moment and get to the real meat of the problem and what needs to be done to solve it.

To be absolutely fair, I must mention that there is a downside to writing letters, as opposed to the more “immediate” forms of communication. They don’t call it “snail mail” for nothing. Be prepared to wait for a response! I have adopted the practice of marking my calendar with my “deadline” for receiving a response to my letters. If that date comes and goes without one, then I often write a follow-up letter, just to let the company know that my issue still has not been resolved. Consumer letters require patience, but the rewards can be worth the effort.

Once you have determined that a letter is, indeed, the way you wish to proceed, you then need to determine exactly what to write. Here are a few tips for writing a consumer letter that can get read and get results:

• Get off to a good start. The first paragraph of your letter may be the most important of the entire missive. It should grab your reader’s attention and prompt him or her to continue reading, by clearly and concisely stating the reason you are writing. By setting the tone and communicating your purpose at the outset, you prepare your reader for what will follow. Then stick to the “outline” of your initial paragraph throughout the rest of the letter; in other words, describe your experience or problem and be specific about what you expect the company to do in response to your letter.

Here is an example of an introductory paragraph that I recently used: “I am writing this letter to advise you of a problem I have encountered with the [name of product] I recently purchased, and the appalling lack of customer service I received from one of your representatives when I attempted to seek a resolution. It is my sincere hope that you will be able to assist me in obtaining a replacement product. Also, I felt you should be aware of the poor level of customer service I received, so you would have the opportunity to counsel your employees about the importance of retaining customer satisfaction.”

• Be succinct. You don’t have to write a complete autobiography in your letter. Instead, keep it as short as possible. That is not to say that you should skimp on the relevant facts that fully describe the problem for which you want a resolution. However, unless they are germane to the issue, omit extraneous details.

It is usually helpful to keep the narration of your experience in chronological order, making it easy to follow. For example, if you made three different telephone calls in an attempt to resolve your issue, be sure to give the dates of these calls, the name of the representative to whom you spoke, and why your interaction was unsatisfactory. Similarly, if you are writing to complain about a product, you will want to describe what exactly the product is – or is not – doing, which is the cause of your dissatisfaction, as well as any previous actions (if any) you took to resolve the problem.

Finish your letter with an ending paragraph that clearly states what you expect the company to do. This final paragraph may be a “mirror image” of the introductory paragraph, reiterating why you took the time to write and what you want. You may also include a sentence like the following: “Thank you for taking the time to read my letter. I would very much appreciate the courtesy of a response by [insert date, typically 10 days from the date of the letter].”

• Don’t rant! Emotion can be the killer of a favorable response. Just as no one wants to listen to a screaming, incoherent diatribe on the telephone, no one wants to read one, either! Remaining rational, using logic and keeping a civil pen in your hand will garner far more positive results.  Give yourself a better chance to get what you want by presenting yourself as a sane, reasonable person asserting your right to consumer satisfaction.

It may seem obvious, but avoid profanity at all costs. Offending your reader or adopting a belligerent tone will not get you any brownie points! Instead, you will alienate him or her and damage your credibility. If you want results, keep your tone moderate and rational. I usually have great success when I imply a modicum of empathy with the company. In other words, I take the position that I know the company wants to have happy customers, and I want to assist them in that goal by recounting my experience, giving them the opportunity to correct the problem and, in the process, eliminate its cause for future customers. It’s kind of a “we’re all in this together and are working toward a common goal” type of tone.

Don’t make threats. (During my time as a customer service representative, the single most offensive thing I encountered was empty threats.) You are virtually guaranteed to lose credibility if, for example, you threaten to sue a company for a million dollars due to the fact that your waitress gave you bad service. That is not to say that you cannot state clearly that you may take further steps, in the event that you do not receive a satisfactory response. However, it is possible to couch this intention in terms that do not raise the hackles of your reader. For example, one of my favorite final sentences is: “Your cooperation will avoid the necessity of further action on my part, and I am looking forward to your prompt reply.”

In especially serious situations, you can also use the simple act of showing copies going to the Better Business Bureau or your state’s Attorney General, as an indirect means to get the point across that this is an important matter. I do not usually do this on initial correspondence to a company, but I often do it if I have to follow up due to a lack of response. If you do this, though, be sure to follow through with actually sending a copy of your correspondence, along with a cover letter, to the entity you have copied.

• Document! If you have documentation to back up your claims, don’t forget to include copies in your letter (NEVER send originals!). Examples of documentation may be photos of the broken item, purchase receipts, or copies of emails you have received from company representatives. You need to make sure the reader of your letter has everything he or she needs to address the problem immediately. Leaving out documentation will delay the resolution process; instead of getting a definitive response with the action you seek, you may get an “interim” letter requesting further documentation before the company can proceed. Eliminate this by giving the company all the necessary tools up-front.

• Let it steep. One of the advantages of writing a letter over speaking with someone on the telephone is that you have the opportunity to think through what you want to say. Especially in an instance where you are expressing dissatisfaction about something, it is often helpful to set the finished letter aside for a day or two, and then go back and reread it. This will provide you with a “cooling off” period. When you go back to the letter, you will probably be a bit more objective about the whole situation and able to edit out unnecessary emotion, tighten your writing, and make your letter more concise.

• Proofread, proofread, proofread! I would be remiss if I did not include this tip, since the whole premise of this blog is to help you communicate more effectively. Naturally, your consumer letter will not be as effective if it is rife with grammar and spelling errors. Don’t rely solely on your word processing program to catch the errors; there are many things that these programs will not recognize. Do it the “hard” way: Actually read what you have written, and check it with your own eyes!

• Contact Grammar Girl. I have built a business helping others to communicate more effectively. My services include drafting, editing and proofreading all types of communications – including business letters. I will be more than happy to assist you in a timely manner for a reasonable fee. A complete listing of services and pricing is available elsewhere on this website.

BONUS TIP:

There is no rule that says you can only write a consumer letter when you have a problem! Companies are like people; they love to know when they’re doing something right, too.  If you had a stellar experience, are completely satisfied with a product you purchased, or are grateful for a store clerk’s sincere desire to be helpful, by all means, send the company a letter. Positive feedback is much sought-after and immensely appreciated. It also encourages a company to continue whatever they are doing that made you happy, to strive for excellence and to deliver the best to its customers.

Limited ingredients.
No additives or fillers.

The phrases above typically are associated with food industry marketing. It occurs to me that perhaps these descriptions of the “ideal” for what we put into our mouths might also apply to what comes out of them, also!

Every generation has its “buzz words” that creep into daily speech and can gum up the works when it comes to trying to decipher what a person is saying.  Few of these trends survive more than a few years before they are replaced with others.   No wonder members of the younger generation inevitably feel “misunderstood” by their elders! Even we “oldsters” add words to our communications that, if not incorrect, are at least unnecessary. I call them “filler words,” because at best, they do not add any real value to the communication and at worst, they are downright incorrect. Following are some of the most frequently used filler words.

Basically: The definition of “basically” is summarizing the most important aspects of a more complex situation; fundamentally. There is nothing inherently wrong with using “basically” to alert your listener that you are boiling down many aspects of something to the most essential element(s). The problem occurs when the word is overused, which is often the case.

The effect of overusing “basically” can be to alienate your listener. She may, subconsciously or otherwise, actually feel insulted! If you are constantly reminding me that you have boiled down a situation to its most basic element(s), I am eventually going to surmise that you don’t think I am smart enough to sort through it myself – that I’m only capable of the most rudimentary thought! Why take the risk? Limit your use of “basically,” and avoid insulting your listener’s intelligence.

Actually: The definition of “actually” is the truth or facts of a situation; really; also used to emphasize that something done or said is surprising. "Actually” has its place in communications, but it is overused. You don’t have to continually remind me that what you are saying is true. I believe you (at least until you prove such belief to be unwarranted)!

Liberally peppering your communication with “actually” can render it ineffective. What comes to my mind when I hear it bandied about is, “He doth protest too much.” In other words, I suspect that the speaker is trying to put one over on me. If you have to continually remind your listener of the truth of your statements, perhaps you should reexamine what you are saying! Similarly, if you imply that everything you say is surprising by using “actually” in this context, your listener just might think you are the most naïve person on the planet. Therefore, my recommendation is to use the word sparingly. Your credibility will be much stronger as a result.

Literally: the definition of “literally” is in a literal or strict sense, as opposed to not literal or exaggerated; opposite of figuratively. The misuse of this word irritates me more than all the other filler words combined!

Consider these example sentences:
The toy was so popular, it literally flew off the shelves!
The joke was so funny, we literally died laughing.

In the first sentence, unless the toy was a drone or other aircraft, it did not fly off the shelf on its own accord. Therefore, the word “literally” is incorrect, because the sentence is an exaggeration, not strictly true. In the second sentence, if the speaker was truly dead, he or she could not utter the statement in the first place! Therefore, it is a figurative statement, not a literal one, and the word “literally” is misused.

So: As an adverb, “so” is a measure of the extent of something. (Her scarf was so long that it touched the floor.) As a conjunction, it means “therefore” or “in order that.” (The line was too long, so we decided not to wait.) Nowadays, however, “so” appears to be the word of choice with which to begin sentences, and its use in this manner is patently incorrect, not to mention irritating in the extreme!

Unless your intent is commensurate with the above definitions, please leave the “so” off the beginning of your sentence. It adds no value to your statement; it’s a “filler” that should be jettisoned.

Now: On-air news reporters seem to be the most likely “offenders” when turning this word into a filler. For some reason, they like to preface each and every sentence with “now”! Here’s a news flash: If I am watching a newscast with a reporter standing before the camera and the word “live” appearing in the upper corner of the screen, I’m fairly certain that I’m going to understand that whatever is being reported is happening NOW! So, please, reporters, stop saying it!

And: Occurring most frequently in speech, rather than in writing, beginning every sentence with “and” has the effect of rendering the entire soliloquy one enormous run-on sentence.  If you’re still talking after the first sentence, I am fully capable of understanding that subsequent sentences are in addition to the first. You do not have to preface them with “and,” and I will be most grateful if you refrain from doing so!

You know… and You feel me: As to the first of these “filler phrases,” if I am listening, chances are that I do not know, which explains why I’m listening in the first place. Conversely, if I do, indeed, know whatever it is that is being communicated, I probably do not need to hear it reiterated.  Therefore, “you know” is a useless filler phrase that is best omitted.  The second “filler phrase” above makes no sense to me at all! From a literal standpoint, I am not the “touchy-feely” type! Of course, I assume that it is meant figuratively, as a substitute for “you know.” As such, it would be another useless filler that can be – and should be – avoided.

Much like making healthier food choices by eliminating the “additives and fillers” and limiting your “ingredients,” abstaining from the “filler” words and phrases in your speech may take a bit of time and practice. However, I can assure you that doing so will be worth the effort, and you’ll emerge with a much leaner and more effective communication.

Before you can confirm that your participle is indeed dangling, you first need to understand exactly what a participle is! In simple terms, a participle is an adjective (modifier) in verb form. For example: running man (the word “running” is the participle, describing the man). Participles typically end in “ing” (present participle), “ed” or “en” (past participles).

Very often, the participle is one of several words forming a participle (sometimes called “participial”) phrase. For example: Traveling to Venice, I enjoyed the scenery from the train window. The phrase “traveling to Venice” is the participle phrase, and it modifies, or describes, the subject of the sentence (“I”). These multi-word phrases are the ones most likely to be misused. The “dangling” part comes into play when the participle – or more likely, the phrase that contains it – is in the wrong place in the sentence, leading to the reader’s confusion as to what, exactly, the phrase modifies. In other words, it’s a modifier that is just hanging (dangling) out there.

As you know if you have been reading my blog on a regular basis, I constantly preach clarity and conciseness as keys to good writing. Dangling participles, aside from being grammatically incorrect, definitely do not lend themselves to these ideals! Instead of helping to paint a picture for the reader by giving him further information, they actually make the reader work harder. You don’t want to waste your reader’s time by making him struggle to figure out what you are trying to say!

Here are five examples of dangling participle phrases and how to fix them:

1. Moving to Texas, the hot weather was a real shock to me. Because it is located so close to the subject of the sentence (“weather”), it appears that the participle phrase, “Moving to Texas” indicates that the weather is doing the moving. However, it is far more probable that the writer intended to inform the reader that he/she was moving to Texas, not the hot weather!

To make this sentence easier to understand, a little rewording will prove helpful: Moving to Texas, I was shocked by the hot weather. There, you see? It is now much more clear who was actually doing the moving!

2. Focusing on improving my math grades, my English homework did not get finished. Although homework (the subject of this sentence) may be assigned as a tool to help a student improve his/her grades, it is the student who must do the focusing.

To fix this sentence, it could be reworded as follows: Focusing on improving my math grades, I did not finish my English homework. By making “I” the subject of the sentence, instead of "homework,” I have clarified for the reader who is doing the focusing.

3. Wanting to see the Eiffel Tower, the bus I chose took me directly to it. It is highly unlikely that the bus (the subject of this sentence) had any independent desire of its own to see the Eiffel Tower!

To make it clear to the reader that it is the tourist who wanted to see the Eiffel Tower, it is necessary to make “I” the subject of the sentence, rather than “bus.” This is the reworded version: Wanting to see the Eiffel Tower, I chose a bus that took me directly to it.

4. Jumping over the fence, Mary’s shoe fell off. Mary’s shoe indeed may have fallen off, but it did not, of its own accord, jump over the fence to do so.

Correct: Jumping over the fence, Mary lost her shoe when it fell off. Now, it is clear that Mary was the one doing the jumping.

5. Fearing a robbery, my money was tucked inside my bra instead of my wallet. Money is an inanimate object and cannot fear anything. However, I can certainly be afraid of being robbed!

Therefore, to fix this sentence, I would reword it as follows: Fearing a robbery, I tucked my money inside my bra instead of inside my wallet.

As I hope you can see from the above examples, the key to roping in those pesky dangling participles is to tie them, as closely as possible, to what they are intended to modify, and what they are meant to modify is almost always the subject of the sentence. Location, location, location is the key. If the subject of your sentence is not what you intend to modify, then change the subject. Your readers will thank you for it, because they won’t have to tax their brains to visualize the picture you are attempting to paint for them.

Belated Happy New Year! (Please note that I did not write “Happy Belated New Year”; it is the greeting that is belated, not the event.) Sadly, I feel certain that few people included “Learn better English” in their list of New Year’s resolutions. For those who did, however, please be assured that I have resolved to continue my blog into 2015, offering information, tips and tricks to help you achieve your goal. This year, my posts will be monthly, rather than weekly, for a variety of reasons. Primarily, I want to spend a bit more time writing them, in the hope that I can offer even more information per post. Please subscribe (see link on the right side of this page), to have notifications of new posts automatically sent to you via email, and then look for them on the last Friday of each month. As always, I am open to suggestions for future topics. You can contact me at claudia@grammargirl.info.

Most of my regular readers already understand the value of effective communications. Every human being on the planet wants to connect with others! Whether it is in speech or in writing, the way we do this affects whether our ideas, opinions and observations are understood and/or accepted by others. We have the power, right there on the tips of our tongues or the nibs of our pens, to persuade, explain, entertain, argue, describe and express. WORDS are the tools with which we wield this power. You would not use a screwdriver to drive a nail, or a hammer to cut a board in half. Similarly, knowing which words to use – and WHERE AND HOW to use them – is vital for ensuring that your communications get the results you are seeking.

I realize, alas, that not everyone is as passionate about the English language as I, and that some people just do not “get” why it is important to use good grammar. Here are just a few reasons, in no particular order of importance, for your consideration:

1. The rules exist for a reason. None of us likes to get a speeding ticket or a citation for running a red light. However, just think of the results if there were no traffic laws and no consequences for breaking them! Chaos would reign supreme. Similarly, grammar rules exist for a reason. Granted, English is rife with exceptions to its rules, but by and large, the rules serve as a framework, within which we can all be understood. Without the basic rules of grammar, we would all be running amok; we may as well each have our own separate language, in which case any hope of making a connection with others is dashed.

No doubt you have heard the assertion that children need and want discipline. So it is with grammar, as well. Like it or not, we need the rules to serve as a roadmap to guide us. Rather than perceiving grammar rules as constraints, try thinking of them as helpers. Once you embrace the rules and make an effort to adhere to them, you will find your communications automatically become more effective. Trust me: the positive results are worth the effort! And with time, they become second-nature and require little or no effort at all.

2. Good grammar is contagious. During my 30-year career in the legal department of a major international corporation, part of my job was to review literature and audiovisual projects for compliance with legal requirements.  Often, I would see distinct patterns in mistakes that were made – things that were consistently misstated and that I repeatedly had to correct.  Over a period of time, however, I was surprised – and gratified – to see that, eventually, the mistakes disappeared, and the alternative language I had offered was adopted. Even more astonishing was my observance that the independent sales force, who were not subjected to my legal edits, began to pick up on the correct phraseology used in our corporate communications and applied it to their own communications. In other words, the use of legally acceptable language had spread.

Babies learn how to talk by imitating their parents and caregivers. We are ALL mentors, in one way or another, whether consciously or unconsciously. I urge you, therefore, to make a concerted effort to use good grammar when you communicate. You never know who may be listening or reading your words, or how many people may be impacted. Alas, I and others like me cannot reach every grammatically challenged person on the planet, and even if we could, there is a limit to how much pounding the rules into someone’s head can help. Many are just resistant to that pedantic approach. It is far easier (and more effective) to serve as an example to others, by using the best grammar we possibly can.

3. Make a good impression. What do you notice first about a person when you meet him or her for the first time?  No doubt it is some aspect of their outward appearance, since this is the first thing we usually perceive. However, sometimes the converse is true; we hear a disembodied voice and attribute physical characteristics to the speaker.

Did you know that, back in the 1920s, when “talkies” replaced silent movies, many actors and actresses lost their careers? This was because their voices and/or accents did not mesh with their outward appearance or the characters they were meant to portray in the film, and for whatever reason, they were unable to change that sad fact.

Whether we realize it or not, how we speak is as important as the timbre of our voices and is a key component of the impression that we make. You can spend all the money in the world on Armani suits, Hermes bags and Gucci shoes, but if, when you open your mouth, language that would shock the Beverly Hillbillies comes out, the outward impression is all for naught!

Good grammar is as important as good grooming when it comes to making a favorable impression. This is especially true if you are seeking a new job or a promotion at your current place of employment. Your listener, or the person who is reading your work, may not consciously attribute their impression to grammar, but it does have an impact. Why not eliminate the possibility that your grammar could be the one thing that holds you back? Do your best to learn and put what you learn into practice, and I’m willing to bet you will see a positive difference in the reaction you get from those with whom you come in contact!

4. Practice makes perfect!  I once read that it takes 21 days to form a habit. I believe that repetition helps to ingrain behaviors, and that eventually you can do something automatically, without giving it much thought. Many of you may be able to relate this to learning grammar, if you recall the endless recitation of the rules that we went through in elementary school. Who doesn’t remember “I before E except after C”?  

There is a lot to be said for memorization, but it is not very fun, as I am sure you will agree. Also, some people (like me) are more apt to grasp a concept, a method, or a procedure when they actually DO it. That is the “hands-on” approach, and that is what I recommend. It can certainly be applied to good grammar.

I challenge you to learn new grammar concepts in this way. For example, if you have difficulty in determining whether to use “I” or “me” in a sentence, first look up the rule. (Hint: I devoted an entire blog post to this topic last year, and it is still available in the “Archives” section, on the right side of your screen.) Then, commit to using “I” and “me” correctly in various sentences throughout the day – at least 10-12 times. You can make up some simple sentences like the following, in which “I” and “me” are used correctly:

a. Bobby and I are best friends.
b. There is enough food for you and me.

Eventually, branch out from the simple sentences to the more complex.  Say them aloud – even if it is only to yourself or to your cat – and also write them down several times.  After repeatedly using “I” and “me” correctly, I will venture to predict that your ear will soon be able to hear the difference between correct and incorrect usage. Who knows, maybe someday you, too, will cringe when you hear “Bobby and me are best friends” – just like I do!

I hope you will join me in adding the foregoing to your resolutions for 2015. Together, I am certain that we CAN make a difference and keep our English language from degenerating into gibberish! I look forward to giving you plenty of tools and information in the coming months and hope you will spread the word about Grammar Girl to your friends!

As I write this, my last blog post for the year (I’ll be back in January with new tips and tricks), it occurs to me that there is one type of writing for which I am willing to at least partially suspend the rules of good grammar, spelling and punctuation, based on the premise that ANY communication is better than no communication at all. That is the personal letter.

Having said that, though, I STILL think that you should do your best to communicate clearly, concisely and with the best possible attempt at sounding as if you did not sleep through every English class. This is especially true when writing to your parents. (After all, your parents no doubt paid for your education, and you wouldn’t want them to think they wasted their money!) But to me, it’s far more important to KEEP IN TOUCH than it is to worry about “rules” when loved ones are involved.

I chose to write about the topic of personal letters at this particular time of the year, because it seems that the holiday season may well be the only time that some people actually write personal messages to loved ones. These typically take the form of a short note jotted on the back of a Christmas card, or those ubiquitous “family letters” that catch the recipient up on an entire year’s worth of news. However short or long the message might be, a personal letter is very nearly a dinosaur in this world of emails, text messages, Twitter and Facebook. But it’s a dinosaur that deserves to be saved from extinction, and here’s why:

I have always looked forward to the arrival of the mail truck at my house. Until recently, I could not, for the life of me, figure out why that is, especially since the mail rarely brings me anything good these days – unless you consider mounds of junk mail and bills to be “good.” Then, an event happened that revealed the genesis of my “mail fetish.” A relative shared with me some letters written by my grandfather to his family, while he was serving with the U.S. Army during World War II.

Reading those letters reminded me of my childhood, when both of my grandparents were still alive. A highlight of the week would be when our mailbox contained a letter from them, usually addressed in my grandmother’s distinctive handwriting. One of my most treasured memories is when we gathered together as a family, and either my mother read the missives aloud to us, or the letters were passed to us for our own individual, silent reading. Suddenly, the 1,000 miles between us melted away, and I immersed myself in several pages of news handwritten by my grandmother, as well as a page or two typewritten by my grandfather. I looked forward to receiving these letters!

There was rarely, if ever, any earth-shattering news in the letters. That was not what made them important. What I treasured was the sense of connection that they gave me. Reading about how many jars of pickles my grandmother made may seem mundane, but for me, it evoked memories of the times we travelled to my grandparents’ house for vacations, my trips down to their basement to marvel at the rows and rows of jellies, jams and pickles, all prepared by her, and the boxes full of the goodies that we brought home and savored for months afterwards.

Even more importantly, the letters reassured me that, despite the many miles that separated us, my grandparents truly CARED about us! They cared enough to sit down every week with pen and paper and spend time sharing their lives. They cared enough to buy the stationery and stamps and make a trip to the post office. They cared enough to ask about our activities and to remember us on special occasions. There was love in those letters, and that is priceless!

I still have some of those letters. Unlike today’s electronic communications, these endure. I no longer have email messages or texts that were sent to me last month, but I DO have letters that are now decades old and that can evoke memories even now. I can bring my long-deceased grandparents back to life any time I please, by simply pulling out one of these letters and reading it.

This holiday season, I encourage you to consider writing personal letters to those you hold dear. I can pretty much guarantee you that the gift of your time spent in writing them will be far more treasured than any other thing they may receive! It doesn’t have to be long; it doesn’t have to be profound.  It just needs to be from the heart and from YOU!

I’m wishing all of my readers the blessings of the season, and I’ll be back in January with regular blog posts to help you communicate more effectively.  Meanwhile, if you have any questions or suggestions for future topics, please feel free to contact me on my Facebook page (www.facebook.com/GGCommunications) or via email at claudia@grammargirl.info.

If you have been reading my blog posts for the past few weeks, you have gotten some tips and tricks about how to make your communications more effective through proofreading, editing, and “tightening up” your writing. This week, I would like to offer a few suggestions on how to make your writing “flow.” When you do this, your writing is not only more appealing, but also more easily read, and most importantly, more easily UNDERSTOOD by your audience.

Once again, a key tool for writing that flows is the OUTLINE. When you have committed the skeleton of your project to an outline that sets out the main ideas you want to share, you already have a start toward a good “flow” to the final project. As I explained in previous blog posts, the outline does not have to be anything formal; even a bulleted list of your points is enough. You can then play with those points, rearranging them into a logical sequence, rejecting those that might not be quite “on point” – or relevant – to the overall premise you want to communicate.  

Beyond the outline, here are some other tips to keep in mind when improving the flow of your writing:

1. HAVE A BEGINNING, A MIDDLE AND AN END. A professor once told me, “In good writing, you tell them what you’re going to say, say it, and then tell them what you just said.” In other words, give your work an introduction, a body, and a conclusion. This can be done in all forms of writing, from business letters to book manuscripts.  

For example, a business letter might begin like this:

This letter is regarding our telephone conversation of November 14, 2014, in which we discussed specifications for the repair of my fence. I would like to take a moment to confirm the details we discussed.

You would then proceed with setting out the details. The letter could be concluded as follows:

Thank you again for taking the time to speak with me. I will be contacting you again soon to let you know if your bid has been accepted. Meanwhile, if you have any corrections or additions to the foregoing, please do not hesitate to let me know.

2. HOW TO DIVIDE YOUR PROJECT INTO PARAGRAPHS. If you have created an outline before beginning the actual writing of your project, the points you have listed will often suggest where paragraphs should begin and end. On the most basic level, one paragraph per point might be logical. If the points are more complicated and require longer explanations, you may need more than one paragraph to explain each one.

Conversely, it is usually NOT a good idea to have a paragraph consisting of only one sentence.  There are exceptions to this, especially if you want to emphasize a specific point by setting it apart from the rest of the text. Use this technique sparingly, however. If a point is worth communicating, it probably merits more than just a single sentence; therefore, your paragraphs will likely contain more than one sentence.

The primary thing to keep in mind is to limit the paragraphs to ONE idea or point. When you try to cram too much information into just one paragraph, even the appearance on the typewritten page can be intimidating. White space on a page is much more inviting to a reader than a page that is “wall-to-wall” text (i.e., a paragraph that takes up an entire page).  

3. USE TRANSITIONAL WORDS. Whenever possible, try using transitional words to introduce your next paragraph. For example, see how I began the second paragraph in point #2 above.  The word “conversely” can be considered transitional. It gives you a clue that what you are about to read relates to the preceding point, but it introduces another (in the case, the opposite) aspect. Other transitional words are “therefore,” “moreover,” “furthermore,” and  “however.” There are others, with which you will want to familiarize yourself.

It is not always possible to use a transitional word.  However, when you can, it will help to tie the paragraphs together and result in a less “jerky” or disjointed impression of what you have written. If transitional words really do not seem effective or advisable in your particular project, you might try using bullet points or numbered paragraphs instead, to tie the paragraphs together in some coherent way. If all else fails, take another, hard look at the paragraph and determine if it is even necessary! It could be that, if you are having difficulty making it “fit” into your project, it does not belong there at all. This could be an opportunity for your to “tighten up” your writing (see last week’s blog post) by deleting irrelevant material.

When you have thoughtfully planned your communication, edited and proofread it, tightened up the writing and made it “flow,” you have given yourself the best possible chance of having your project read, understood, and perhaps even recommended to others! It may seem like a lot of work to polish your project in this way, but if it’s worth communicating, it’s worth doing right!

It’s a cacophonous world out there! Everyone has something to say and wants his or her voice to be heard above all others. The best way to do this is to make your communications as effective as possible. This includes not only using correct grammar and spelling, but also writing clearly and concisely. My motto is “WRITE TIGHT” – grammatically incorrect, I know (should be “write tightly”), but easy to remember.

SO MANY WORDS, SO LITTLE TIME: No one has time for long, drawn-out explanations; “quick and dirty” are the key words of the day. Just as readers are likely to put down a book that doesn’t grab their attention in the first few paragraphs, they may abandon your communication and seek information elsewhere, if you don’t get to the point and get there quickly. Most writers do not have the luxury of time, either. That’s why you need to get to the meat of the matter sooner, not later! Here are some tips on how to do this:

1. ORGANIZE YOUR THOUGHTS. Know what you want to say and how you’re going to say it. Even though they require a bit of time up front, I believe that OUTLINES merit the effort. If it’s worth saying, it’s worth planning. By availing yourself of an outline, you have the opportunity to list the various points you want to make, arrange them in a logical sequence, and consider the relevance of each point before committing it to your project.

Think of an outline as a road map. It’s like planning a business trip. I doubt that you would just hop on a plane with no clue about where you’re going or why, without luggage, or without at least an inkling of what you are going to do once you get there. Instead, you’re going to travel armed with business attire in your suitcase, an itinerary and meeting agenda in your briefcase, and PowerPoint or other presentations ready to deliver to your audience!

An outline of your communication is your creative roadmap. It helps you solidify your ideas and keeps you on track to reach your final destination. It does not have to be elaborate – or even typewritten. Often, just a quickly jotted list of key words is all that is necessary to prompt your mind when the real writing begins.

2. PARE DOWN YOUR PROSE. I must admit that this is the most difficult step in the process for me! Because I adore words, I tend to use too many in my writing. Deleting them can sometimes be as traumatic as amputating a limb!

Therefore, I have reached a kind of “compromise” with myself. Whenever I conceive of a particularly brilliant turn of phrase that, alas, is superfluous to my current communication but is just too good to trash, I will cut it from my project and paste it into a special document I have created, named “For Future Use.” That way, when a “jigsaw puzzle” comes along where my wonderful words may fit, I know where to find them.

To illustrate my point about paring down prose, here is my first draft of the first paragraph above:

It can be a cacophonous world out there! Virtually everyone has something to say, and he or she wants his or her voice to be heard above all of the others.  The best way to do this, in my opinion is to make your communications as effective as humanly possible. This includes not only using correct grammar and making sure that you spell your words correctly, but also using words sparingly and writing clearly, succinctly and concisely.  My motto has always been “WRITE TIGHT.”  I know that phrase is grammatically incorrect (it should be “write tightly”), but I find the incorrect version easier for me to remember.

Now, go back to the top of my post and read the first paragraph again, to see the final product. By taking out a lot of unnecessary words, I have reduced the size of the paragraph from 107 words to 70 and have made it easier to discern the message without wading through a bunch of unnecessary verbiage.

Don’t be afraid to play with words and rearrange them!  Make a game out of seeing just how much you can express with the fewest words possible.  If you make it fun, it won’t seem like work at all! Words are not perishable, like tomatoes. If a word does not complement a particular “recipe,” leave it out and find another use for it somewhere else.

3. USE THE ACTIVE VOICE. Using the active rather than the passive voice can draw your reader into your writing faster and more effectively. People want to become “involved” in what you write, and the active voice will achieve this. While not grammatically incorrect, the passive voice does dilute your prose and make it more difficult to understand.

What is the passive voice? It’s when the subject of a sentence is having something done to it, rather than doing the action itself, or when there is “distance” – in the form of unnecessary words – placed between the subject and the action. For example: I had walked to the store and had bought some milk for my cereal. In this sentence, the word “had” in both places puts distance between the subject (“I”) and the action. It adds unnecessary words that make deciphering the meaning of the sentence more difficult. A better, more concise way of writing this sentence would be: I walked to the store and bought some milk for my cereal.

Here’s another example: An ordinance has been passed to make outdoor markets against the law. While there is nothing grammatically incorrect about this example, it is much lengthier than it needs to be, and it also begs the question about WHO passed the ordinance. A better, more informative and more succinct sentence is: The City Council passed an ordinance prohibiting outdoor markets. The new sentence gives more information in fewer words.

When using the active voice, it also helps if the verbs you choose have some “zing” to them. For example, instead of saying, “Kathryn left the lecture hall and got to her next class just before the bell rang,” try saying, “Kathryn bolted from the lecture hall and raced to her next class, arriving just before the bell rang.” By using stronger verbs, you impart a sense of urgency. Your reader is more likely to empathize more with Kathryn and participate in her actions by FEELING them, thanks to stronger verb choices.

Try the three tips above on your next writing project. They may seem a bit awkward at first, but with practice, they will become second nature to you. And I am willing to bet that they will also improve your prose dramatically in the process!

I know that not everyone is a grammarian. Not everyone is a rocket scientist, a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher, a marketing executive, a sales clerk, a waitress, or a stay-at-home mom, either. Each of us has special talents that we bring to the table in our chosen fields. The common denominator in all walks of life, however, is that we must communicate with each other. The better we communicate, the more likely we are to make that connection with our fellow humans that we crave and that is necessary in order for us to get our needs met and make our desires known.  

There are three reasons why I believe that good grammar is an important asset to possess when making these connections:

1. CREDIBILITY: We are all products of our environment, and there are bound to be some slang, colloquialisms or commonly-heard errors that seep into even the most conscientious of communications. However, I do expect my doctor to be able to clearly and concisely communicate his instructions for my health care to me and other health care professionals. If his written diagnosis is rife with errors in grammar and/or spelling, I tend to question his ability and skills. If he didn’t learn basic English at some time during all those years of schooling, did he, perhaps, also not learn some of the key lessons that medical school was meant to impart? Similarly, I expect the attorney, to whom I pay $400 per hour, to write a brief on my behalf that not only states my position, but also does so in a manner which is clear and compelling. If he has not even taken the time to proofread it before it goes to the judge, then how can I feel confident that he has thoroughly researched the law behind it?

Recently, I received a letter from my former insurance company that read, in part, as follows: “As a result of your request to cancel your insurance coverage. Enclosed is a refund check.”  It was signed by the “Head of Service Operations.” This poorly written business letter, written by someone who supposedly is “head” of a department, only served to confirm to me that my decision to drop the insurance was the right one! It also caused me to question whether my refund was correct and prompted a reply from me, asking for an audit. The credibility of the “Head of Service Operations,” and her entire company, was called into question in my mind, simply because she could not take the time to write a decent business letter!

2. RESPECT:  I tend to equate really poor grammar and spelling (and I’m referring to consistently bad grammar and spelling, not the occasional error) with a lack of respect – both the self-respect of the speaker/writer, as well as the respect he may have for those with whom he communicates. Although perhaps not everyone will admit it, most humans do “classify” or judge people, based on their first impressions. Even if you, yourself, are not a grammatical genius, your subconscious no doubt does take note of anomalies in someone’s speech and places them in your own pre-defined categories.  

For better or for worse, when someone communicates with me using poor English, I cannot help but assume that they do not respect themselves enough to take the time to learn better communication skills, and they do not respect ME enough to consider that I might be offended!  One of the ways that a person can demonstrate both self-respect and respect for others, in my opinion, is to put on his/her “Sunday best” when trying to communicate.

3. DESIRE TO CONNECT: One thing that seems to be rampant in today’s society is the frustration people feel when they think their voices are not being heard. The answer is not to shout louder and longer in an effort to be acknowledged.  Instead, it is to be more articulate!  

If you are not getting the results you expect from your communications, perhaps it is time to take a second look at them. Are you stating your case in a manner which engenders interest and a response? Could you correct errors in grammar and/or spelling to make your communication clearer?

No one is perfect. We all make mistakes, and that’s just part of being human. However, I truly feel that the more we strive to communicate effectively, the better we will feel about ourselves, and the more credibility and respect we will garner from others.

It never ceases to amaze me how quickly I can accumulate an assortment of grammar errors to use in my periodic quizzes! Believe me, I don’t look for them; they just seem to find me! Here are the latest ones. I’ve listed them in all their erroneous glory first, so you can have some fun trying to figure out what is wrong with them. Then, scroll down, and I will reveal the answers.

1. The world’s largest collection of Rococo paintings are housed at the Louvre.

2. And that’s about as best as it gets.

3. They have had it as worse as any other kid in the city of Pittsburgh.

4. My brother and me will not say a word.

5. A lot of people had opinions on how this should have went down.

6. Our kids’ safety come first.

7. We’re trying to be as precautious as we can.

8. Every detective has a degree in mental illness.

9. We make it simple and easy.

10. Our neighborhood is thinking of forming a HOA.


ANSWERS:

1. The world’s largest collection of Rococo paintings are housed at the Louvre. There are some words in the English language that are known as “collective nouns.” These are words that, by their definition, stand for a group of individuals (Examples: collection, group, family). Collective nouns are treated as singular. Therefore, the correct sentence should be: The world’s largest collection of Rococo paintings is housed at the Louvre.

2. And that’s about as best as it gets. The speaker in this sentence has used a superlative in error. The sentence should read: And that’s about as good as it gets.  Alternatively, the speaker could have said: And that’s about the best it gets.

3. They have had it as worse as any other kid in the city of Pittsburgh. This sentence has used the word “worse” when what was really warranted was “bad.” Therefore, the correct sentence should be: They have had it as bad as any other kid in the city of Pittsburgh.

4. My brother and me will not say a word. There is a misuse of a pronoun in this sentence. A good tip for determining whether you need “I” or “me” in a sentence is to take one of the two subjects out and then say the sentence aloud. For example, in this sentence, omit “my brother,” and you can readily see that nobody says, “Me will not say a word.”  Therefore, the correct sentence would be: My brother and I will not say a word.

5. A lot of people had opinions on how this should have went down. Conjugation of irregular verbs such as “go” often cause problems for people. The present perfect tense of “go” is gone. Therefore, this sentence should have been: A lot of people had opinions on how this should have gone down.

6. Our kids’ safety come first. I found it a bit amusing – and a LOT disturbing – that this sentence was actually uttered by the Superintendent of a major city school system! The word “safety” is singular; therefore, the correct sentence should have been: Our kids’ safety comes first.

7. We’re trying to be as precautious as we can. As far as I know, there’s no such word as “precautious,” although you CAN take precautions. Therefore, this sentence should have been: We’re trying to be as cautious as we can.

8. Every detective has a degree in mental illness. This one made me laugh! I do not know of any degrees being handed out for mental illness, but perhaps I am wrong. If so, I do apologize, but in the meantime, I hope this detective’s degree is in psychology, psychiatry, or some other recognized field.

9. We make it simple and easy. This came from a television advertisement for a nationally-known office supply store. I think, perhaps, that they needed to fill a couple of seconds of air time and chose this way to do it. However, since “simple” and “easy” are synonymous, they might have spent their advertising dollars more prudently by not being redundant.  

10. Our neighborhood is thinking of forming a HOA. When you have a word that begins with a vowel, the article preceding it should be “an” and not “a.” Similarly, when you use initials, and the name of the letter begins with a vowel (such as “aitch” in the example sentence), you need to use “an.” Therefore, the correct sentence should have been: Our neighborhood is thinking of forming an HOA.

In last week’s post, I discussed the importance of proofreading in good writing and offered tips for effectively practicing this vital skill. The companion skill that holds equal importance to proofreading is editing. In fact, the characteristics of both skills overlap in many places.  In essence, proofreading and editing go hand in hand – a “double whammy” that will greatly improve your communications.

Editing is the process of reviewing your work and making changes to it, in order to improve its effectiveness, correct errors, and ensure that what you are trying to communicate to your audience is correct, clear and concise. As part of the services I provide to Grammar Girl Communications clients, I routinely offer suggested changes to the text of the documents I review. To this end, I have developed a kind of “template” for my editing activities, which helps me cover all the bases and offer the most comprehensive editing services possible. Here are a few of the practices I employ in my editing activities:

1. LEAVE YOUR EGO IN YOUR DESK DRAWER! I believe that self-editing may well be one of the most difficult parts of writing for many people. A written work is often the writer’s “baby.”  Many writers, whether good or bad, start out believing that every word they have written is “golden” and vital to the text. Often, they are simply too close to the work and cannot view it objectively enough to properly discern where edits may be necessary to improve it.

It is important to keep in mind that virtually all successful writers have editors – even published authors of bestselling books! Therefore, the best advice I can give is to keep an open mind, whether you are editing your own work yourself, or you have employed an editor to do the job for you. Do not take umbrage at any edits that are suggested. They have been made with the best of intentions, and with a sincere desire to help you, not harm you! You should also remember that edits are typically suggestions. If you have very strong feelings of disagreement about an edit, by all means make your own decision about whether to accept it or not. Just be sure to ask yourself if it is your ego prompting you to ignore the suggestion, or if there could actually be a perfectly valid, objective reason for the suggested change.

2. LET IT REST. This suggestion may look very familiar, if you read last week’s blog post. Just as it is a good idea to get away from your work for at least 24 hours before attempting to proofread it, it is also a good idea to do this before making any edits. This can help break the brain’s tendency to fill in the blanks and mentally auto-correct your work, causing you to miss areas where it can be improved. You will be looking at the text with fresh eyes when you return to it after a rest.

Therefore, my advice is to go do something totally unrelated to the subject of the piece you have just written. Focus your thoughts and physical activities on this “other thing” to the max.  Then, go back and take a look at what you’ve written with more objective eyes.

3. GIVE IT A FIRST READ WITH YOUR PEN STILL IN YOUR POCKET.  Before you launch into scribbling notes, rearranging words, or cutting out swaths of text, take the time just to read the entire work. Read for content. Read with the goal of making sure you can comprehend what is being said (if you can’t, then it’s a pretty safe bet that a total stranger can’t, either). Pay attention to the “flow” of the writing. Are your ideas arranged logically? Is there a smooth transition between paragraphs and from one idea to the next?

If your pen is practically jumping out of your pocket at this point, just itching to start slashing away at the words, try a compromise. Instead of wholesale editing during this “first read” process, try merely using a highlighter to mark passages that might need some work. That way, you have given yourself a kind of road map to follow when the full-on editing process begins, without slicing and dicing any words before you’ve gotten an overall view of the entire work.

4. ON YOUR MARK, GET SET – GO! Once you have gotten these “formalities” out of the way, it’s time to start the actual editing. Go back to the highlighted parts that, during your first read, did not quite make sense to you or did not describe your thoughts accurately enough. Play with the words, rearranging them, deleting some, etc.  If you find gaps in the writing that require more research, or facts that need checking, make notes in the margins. Then you can go back to your sources to find the missing information and insert it into the proper location in the text.

When you have finished the editing process, once again let the work – and your brain – take a rest. After 24 hours or more, go back and reread the overall work in its entirety and “tweak” anything that still sounds “off” or incorrect.

5. WHEN IN DOUBT, TAKE IT OUT! This is the most difficult part of the process! As stated above, it is often extremely difficult for writers to part with any of their “babies” (their words).  There may well be an idea – or an entire string of them – that you have included in your work that just isn’t relevant. It may be interesting, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that it belongs there. Have the courage to take it out and “tighten up” the work.

In my own writing, I often come up with a fantastic turn of phrase, idea or a “fast, fun fact” that just screams to be communicated, but NOT in the context of what I’m currently creating. I go ahead and “bite the bullet” and remove it from my work, knowing that my writing will be better because I did.  It’s a bit like pulling off an adhesive bandage really fast, to minimize the pain. But I don’t totally trash it! Instead, I have created a special file, where I put all of these “gems.”  That way, my poor, overworked brain doesn’t have to commit them to memory, but they will still be readily available if I ever come across a place where these puzzle pieces truly fit.

6. WHEN IN DOUBT, FARM IT OUT.  Just as I suggested in last week’s blog post about proofreading, if you truly do not have the heart to edit, or the skill, or the time, there is absolutely no shame in hiring the services of a professional, like Grammar Girl Communications. We are always happy to help, at affordable prices and in a timely manner.

Recently, I went to an event held to raise money for charities. The organizers were selling T-shirts bearing a small-sized logo of the event and its name, and I bought one, both to help support the charities involved and as a souvenir. A few days later, I decided to wear the shirt. That is when I realized that there was a glaring typographical error in the name of the event, which completely changed it to one that made absolutely no sense! I wondered if other potential buyers had noticed this prior to making their purchases, or if, like me, they got their shirts home before they noticed. I also wondered if the typo had caused the organizers to lose sales which might have benefitted the charities they were trying to help. The moral of this story: PROOFREAD YOUR WORK!

We are surrounded by technology that does everything but press the keys on the keyboard for us (and, I suppose, it could be argued that the “autocorrect” feature of some programs even does this)! As a result, fewer and fewer people are actually checking for errors themselves, relying instead upon word processing or other computer programs to do the job. What they don’t seem to realize is that computers do not have a sense of the context of their words. They can mechanically check the typing against what is stored in their databases, but if the writer types the word “to” when he/she actually means “two,” the computer has no way of knowing that this is wrong in the context of the communication!

As you are no doubt aware if you are reading this blog and have looked at the rest of my website, proofreading my business. Through the years, I have developed some practices that I use when proofreading – whether it is my own or a client’s work – and I have a few tips to share with you for effective proofreading.

1. READ IT MORE THAN ONCE. I always read a document at least three times. The first time, I read for content only, to get a sense of what the document is about and what the writer is trying to communicate. The second time, I read the document with an eye toward locating and correcting errors in grammar, spelling and punctuation. The third time, I reread the document to make sure that it still makes sense after the corrections have been made, that I have not missed any errors, and that my proofreading notations (and edits, if the client has also requested my editing services) are clear, understandable and legible.

2. LET IT REST. This is especially important if you are proofreading your own work! I find that the longer I spend on a writing project, the more immersed in it I become and the more apt I am not to recognize my own errors. This is because I have committed the gist of my message to memory, and when I reread it, my brain often “sees” the words on the page as depicting the ideas I had intended, not necessarily the actual words I have typed. In other words, my brain fills in the blanks I may have left, autocorrects any mistakes, etc. To overcome this, I like to let my finished work “steep” for some time – at least 24 hours, but more if possible. Then, when I come back to it, I am looking at it with fresh eyes, in a more objective way, and can more easily see the defects and correct them.

3. READ IT ALOUD. Reading your work aloud is not going to help you with punctuation or spelling mistakes, but it will help you to identify such things as run-on sentences, poor grammar, or even mistakes in facts or miscommunication of exactly what you wanted to say! This may be more of an editing practice, perhaps, than a proofreading one, but I think it is very important nonetheless.  Even better, sometimes, is to have someone else do the reading aloud, so you can concentrate solely on the way the words sound when read by a third party and whether the message is being communicated accurately and to your satisfaction.

4. WHEN IN DOUBT, FARM IT OUT. There are many reasons why someone may choose a professional to edit and proofread their writing.  And that’s why people like me exist!  If your communication is extremely important, if you want to ensure that it is the best it can possibly be, or if you simply don’t have the time or feel you have the expertise to write, edit or proofread your work, you can always seek the services of a professional writer/editor/proofreader to help you make the best possible impression with your communication.  More information on the services I offer is located elsewhere on this website.

When it comes to conjugating verbs, I find it tremendously ironic that the two tenses with “perfect” in their names are the two that are frequently used far from perfectly! These are the present perfect and the past perfect tenses. Here are some examples:

PRESENT PERFECT TENSE: I have ridden the bus to work for years. (The present perfect tense uses the word “have,” together with a verb, to indicate an action that happened at an unspecified time before now.)

PAST PERFECT TENSE: I had hoped to be finished with my chores before my favorite television show aired. (The past perfect tense uses the word “had,” together with a verb, to indicate an action that happened before a specific time in the past.)

The verb that must be paired with either “have” or “had” in order to form the present or past perfect tense must always be in the past tense. When the paired verb is a regular verb (which means that the simple addition of “e-d” to the end of the word changes it to past tense), this is not usually a problem. The second example sentence above shows a regular verb in the past perfect tense (“had hoped”). But when the verb is irregular (no “e-d” is added, and the spelling of the verb is actually changed in order to make it past tense), this is where the problems occur, because irregular verbs have special past-tense spellings that are only used in the perfect tenses. The first example sentence above shows one of these irregular verbs(“had ridden”).

Here are some examples of irregular present and past tense verbs:

PRESENT TENSE/PAST TENSE/PRESENT or PAST PERFECT TENSE

Drink/Drank/Drunk
Shrink/Shrank/Shrunk
Stink/Stank/Stunk
Prove/Proved/Proven
Ride/Rode/Ridden
Hide/Hid/Hidden
Speak/Spoke/Spoken
Eat/Ate/Eaten
Break/Broke/Broken
See/Saw/Seen
Forget/Forgot/Forgotten

Now that you know the difference, next time you watch “Honey, I Shrunk The Kids,” I hope you will join me in cringing at the grammatical error in the title.

I’m not ashamed to say it: I LOVE words!!! There is nothing more fulfilling to me than starting with a blank piece of paper or computer screen, carefully mixing and matching words upon it, and ending up with a snapshot of a moment in my life, a word painting of a story from my imagination, or a how-to piece to help others learn the fine art and craft of writing.

Language is a living thing that evolves over the years. As proof of this, you need only take a look at Chaucer’s “Canterbury Tales” or the King James Version of the Bible, and you can readily see how the English language has morphed over time. Just as we may have difficulty today reading “The Miller’s Tale” in its original Middle English, so might Chaucer’s contemporaries feel lost if they had the opportunity to read one of today’s bestsellers or overhear a typical 2014 conversation!

Did you know that many countries actually have language academies? These are bodies that attempt to regulate a country’s native language, striving to maintain linguistic purism and to officiate and prescribe the meaning of words and pronunciations. I seem to recall, several years ago, that France’s Académie Française actually proposed that too many “anglicized” words were creeping into the French language, and that this practice should be stopped! Of course, the recommendations of a language academy are not strictly enforceable, but I personally find it admirable that there are academies who seek to make these efforts.

Interestingly, although my research found language academies for virtually every language from Afrikaans to Yoruba (Nigerian language), I did not locate one for English! I suppose that this means that it is up to people like me – “grammar police” – to try to educate people on proper English usage, in the hope that some of our teachings may “stick” and the language will not devolve into chaos.  

Although there does not appear to be a language academy for English, there are ways that some words and how they are used become more widely acceptable, usually though continued usage to the point where they come to the attention of such “authorities” as Webster’s Dictionary or the Oxford English Dictionary. Periodically, these venerable publications see fit to add new words to their collections. Here are a few words that have been recently added to Webster’s Dictionary. I will not provide you with their definitions; instead, I leave it to you to enjoy discovering them for yourself and adding them to your palette for future word pictures you may create.

Ginormous
Woot
Brattitude
Fauxtography
Guiltify
Selfie
Guesstimation
Mani-Pedi
Bestie
Twerk
Photobomb
Fantastical
Vape
Geotag
Meme
Upcycle

In a recent blog post, I barely scratched the surface of those pesky homophones – words that sound alike but are spelled differently and mean different things.  Here are a few more that seem to cause confusion.

Faze: To affect or bother. (Example: The fact that his fly was unzipped didn’t seem to faze him; perhaps he is an exhibitionist.)

Phase:  A distinct period of time in the process of change. (Example: Mary is thirteen years old and going through that phase where she thinks she knows more than her parents.)

____________________


Feet: That part of your anatomy on which you walk; also, a unit of measurement. (Example: I knew if I wore those three-inch heels, my feet would hurt, and I was right!)

Feat: An achievement that requires great skill, courage or strength. (Example: The circus performer’s feats on the high wire were awe-inspiring.)

____________________


Aid: To help/assist. (Example:  The nurse aided the patient in getting out of bed.)

Aide: The person who does the helping/assisting. (Example: Patricia is a nurses’ aide at Mercy Hospital.)

____________________

Piece: A portion or segment of a larger object. (Example: May I please have a piece of pie?)

Peace: The absence of war; calm; tranquility: (Example: I go to the lake when I want peace and quiet.)

____________________

Peek: A quick, furtive look; to look quickly or furtively. (Example: Here’s a sneak peek at the new season’s fashions.)

Peak: The pinnacle; the top. (Example:  The car’s engine was running at the peak of its efficiency.)

Pique: A feeling of irritation or resentment. (Example:  Sarah got her feelings hurt and left in a fit of pique.)

____________________


Hole: An excavation; a void. (Example: My dog likes to dig holes in the back yard.)

Whole: Entire (Example: I can’t believe I ate the whole thing!)

____________________


Waste: To squander; to expend extravagantly or to no purpose. (Example: The movie was boring; it was a waste of time.)

Waist: The part of the human body below the ribs and above the hips. (Scarlett O’Hara had a tiny, 18-inch waist.)

BONUS TIP:

Your: Belonging to you (Example: Don’t forget to take your wallet with you to the grocery store.)

You’re: You are (Example: You’re my best friend.)

Yore: Days gone by; the distant past. (Example: In days of yore, the Roman Empire ruled most of Europe.)

Sometimes, when we transcribe what someone says, we may write what we HEAR, not what is correct. Such is the case with “coulda,” “shoulda” and “woulda,” or “could of,” “should of” and “would of.” These often end up on paper when a transcriber is not grammar savvy or does not understand that the speaker is saying could have, should have, or would have.  (In their contraction form, they are could’ve, should’ve and would’ve.)

“Coulda,” “shoulda” and “woulda” are not words at all.  If you don’t believe me, type them into a Word document on your computer, and you will see your spell verifier go crazy putting red squiggly lines under them, indicating a misspelling!

The spell verifier will not be so picky if you typed “could of,” “should of” or “would of,” but that does not make them correct!  The word “of” is a preposition, meaning “belonging to, relating to or connected with.”  It has no place in the midst of a sentence such as this:  I could have gone to the party, but I decided to stay home and straighten my sock drawer.  “Could have gone” is a verb phrase.  If you replace “have” with “of,” you’ve broken the chain of verbs and come up with something that makes absolutely no sense.

Two other words that are often written incorrectly are “affect” and “effect.” Sometimes, this is because a speaker simply misuses them, but sometimes it is because they sound very much alike and can often be incorrectly transcribed.

Affect is a verb, meaning “to have an effect on, to make a difference to.” (Example: How much you study will affect how well you do on the test.)

Effect is a noun, meaning “the result of an action.” (Example: John’s refusal to study had an effect on his grade.)

When transcribing a sentence, it is important to know the definition of “affect” and “effect” and what part of speech they are.  Also, pay attention to the context of the sentence in which they are used, so that you will use the correct one in your transcript.

You may remember that, several weeks ago, I dedicated a blog post to "there," "their," and "they’re" --homophones (words that sound alike but are spelled differently and mean different things). In that post, I mentioned that there were more such words in the English language, but it occurs to me that perhaps it would be helpful to give you a quick guide to some others that may cause a dilemma for you in your writing. Accordingly, here’s a half dozen of some of the most commonly misused homophones:

• Your = Belonging to you (Example: I hope your mother can join us for lunch.)
  

• You’re = You are (Example: You’re not going to believe this!)
  

__________

• Capital = The seat of government in a country or state (Example: The capital of Texas is Austin.)  
  

• 
  

• “Capital” can also mean wealth in the form of money or other assets (Example: The company was seeking venture capital to use for expansion.)  
  

• 
  

• A third definition of “capital” is the top portion of an architectural column (Example: You can tell the difference between Greek and Roman columns by looking at the design of their capitals.)
  

• Capitol = A building. (Example: The United States Congress is located in the Capitol.)
  

__________

• Principal = First in order of importance, main (Example: The principal reason I write this blog is to educate people about correct grammar.)  
  

• 
  

• “Principal” can also be used to refer to the original sum of money (Example: The total house payment includes principal and interest.)
  

• Principle = A fundamental truth that serves as a foundation for a system of belief or a chain of reasoning (Example: Our company was founded on principles of integrity and good customer service.)
  

__________

• Brake = The mechanism on a vehicle that makes the vehicle stop, or the act of stopping (Example: I brake for animals.)
  

• Break = To separate or cause to separate into pieces, or to interrupt (Example: My lunch break is 30 minutes.)
  

__________

• Stationery = Writing paper (Example: He wrote the letter on his personalized stationery.)
  

• Stationary = Staying in the same place (Example: Marta rides a stationary bicycle at the fitness center every day.)
  

__________

• Compliment = A  polite expression of admiration. (Example: Teresa received many compliments on her beautiful dress.)
  

• Complement = A thing that completes or brings to perfection (Example: That color of eye shadow really complements your eye color.)
  

I hope you find these helpful. There are many more confusing homophones in our weird English language, and I will share more of them with you in future blog posts.





BONUS TIP:

This is not a homophone, but it is so often misspelled that I feel compelled to write about it:

The past tense of the verb "lead" is NOT "lead."  Instead, the past tense is LED.  Please, please, PLEASE memorize this!

A good way to remember it is that, to form the past tense of most verbs, you add "ed" to them.  When you want the past tense of "lead," just make sure that the "e" and the "d" are next to each other. You will get LED, and you will make this old grammarian very, very happy!  

I’m sad to say that it doesn’t take long at all for me to amass enough grammar errors to put together a quiz for my blog. Like cockroaches, they seem to come out of the woodwork! The following were either overheard or read. Take a look at them and see if you can spot the grammar error. Then, scroll down to check your grammar knowledge and see how these unfortunate errors could have been avoided.

1. I feel badly about it.

2. News reporter at the scene of a fatality accident: I’m here at the scene where the travesty occurred.

3. We’ll guide you through the entire process, to make sure it’s both simple and easy.

4. There’s not anybody that believed these actions was acceptable.

5. The actions of the dangerous criminals was beyond reckless and chaotic.

6. It was the most saddest thing I ever seen.

7. You can’t watch children close enough when they’re in the pool.

8. It was right in this general facility that we found it.

9. The individual needed to be tooken to the hospital.

10. I recommend it to anybody that has pain.

Have you pondered the preceding sentences and detected the errors? Great! Now, here are the explanations of what is wrong with them and how they could have been corrected:

1. I feel badly about it. Although it is true that, in most cases, adverbs modify verbs (“badly” is the adverb in the example), this particular sentence demonstrates one of those pesky exceptions to the rule that are, alas, so common in the English language. If you are using one of the “sense” verbs (feel, taste, smell, etc.), you must use an adjective to modify it. This is because you are describing the sense and how you felt about it, not how you performed the action. Therefore, the correct sentence is: I feel bad about it.

2. I’m here at the scene where the travesty occurred. This is an example of just plain poor vocabulary choice. “Travesty” means a false or distorted representation of something. Because the context in which the sentence was uttered was a report on a fatality auto accident, I doubt very much that the reporter meant to imply that there was something false or distorted about the scene behind her, which was a body bag being loaded into an ambulance. Instead, I believe she was attempting to impart to her audience that it was a tragedy that someone lost his or her life as a result of the accident. Therefore, she should have said: I’m here at the scene where the tragedy occurred.

3. We’ll guide you through the entire process, to make sure it’s both simple and easy. This statement comes straight from the department of redundancy department! The words “simple” and “easy” have identical definitions. Therefore, either one or the other would have been sufficient; using both is just plain redundant. If the ad agency that wrote this advertisement needed to fill a nanosecond of air time with a word, they should have chosen one that added something different to it.  Perhaps they could have said “simple and painless” or “straightforward and easy.”

4. There’s not anybody that believed these actions was acceptable. There are two errors in this sentence. No doubt, you picked up on one of them right away: the disagreement of the plural subject “actions” and the singular verb “was.” The second error is a bit more subtle, but no less important. It is the use of the word “that.” “That” refers to objects. When speaking about people, the word “who” should be used. Therefore, the correct sentence should have been: There’s not anybody who believed these actions were acceptable.

5. The actions of the dangerous criminals was beyond reckless and chaotic. This one is almost too easy! Since the speaker used the plural subject (“actions”), the verb must agree.  Therefore, the correct sentence should have been: The actions of the dangerous criminals were beyond reckless and chaotic.

6. It was the most saddest thing I ever seen. This is another sentence in which two errors are present. The first is the use of “most saddest.” The word “saddest” already has “most” built into it.  “Saddest” means “most sad”! Additionally, this poor speaker also used the incorrect verb form of “see.” The correct sentence would have been: It was the saddest thing I ever saw.

7. You can’t watch children close enough when they’re in the pool. In this sentence, the speaker is trying to impart how you should watch your children when they’re in the pool. Because she was modifying the action verb “watch,” she needed to use an adverb. Therefore, the correct sentence should have been: You can’t watch your children closely enough when they’re in the pool.  Alternatively, she could have said: You can’t watch your children too closely when they’re in the pool.

8. It was right in this general facility that we found it. Like sentence #2 above, this is another instance in which the speaker’s vocabulary failed him. The sentence implies that he was trying to describe the area in which the object was found, not the “space or equipment necessary for doing something,” which is the definition of “facility.” Therefore, the correct sentence would have been: It was right in this general vicinity that we found it. Also, I believe the word "that" should be replaced with "where," making the sentence read: It was right in this general vicinity where we found it.

9. The individual needed to be tooken to the hospital. This is my favorite of all of this week’s grammar goofs, because it is so obviously wrong! There is no such word as “tooken”! The correct sentence would be: The individual needed to be taken to the hospital.

10. I recommend it to anybody that has pain. This sentence and sentence #4 above have the misuse of the word “that” in common. I cannot repeat it enough: When referring to a person, use the word “who.” “That” refers to objects!

I hope you enjoyed this week’s grammar goof quiz and spotted the errors easily. Unfortunately, I fear it won’t be long until I have another batch of grammar errors to present for your reading enjoyment.  Stay tuned!

Whoa! Wait a minute! Did you just read the word “colonoscopy” in a GRAMMAR blog? Has Grammar Girl gone off her rocker? No, not at all.  It’s just my (arguably) clever way of getting your attention. Just as the medical procedure known as a colonoscopy looks into the anatomical part known as the colon and checks for abnormalities, so my grammar version of a colonoscopy (and semi-colonoscopy) is going to look into the punctuation marks known as the colon and the semicolon. I promise that this will be painless!

The main use of a colon in a sentence is to indicate that a list is going to follow. (Example: There were several desserts on the menu: cakes, pies, cookies, pudding and ice cream.) It might help to think of a colon as an introductory punctuation mark. A colon is made up of two periods, stacked one on top of the other, which brings to mind a pause. Perhaps you can think of it as a “drum roll” before the entrance of the sentence’s “main event” (that being the list of items that follows).

Back in the olden days, when I was going to school, we were taught that items in the list that followed a colon always should be separated by semicolons. Nowadays, however, this is not necessarily the case.  It is perfectly acceptable to separate items in a list by commas, as long as those items do not, themselves, contain commas. If the list items DO contain commas, then semicolons should be used to separate them, to make reading the list easier and clearer.  

For example, here is a sentence where separation of the list items by commas is correct: There were several choices of activities at the spa: exercise classes, swimming, beauty treatments and meditation sessions. Here is an example where the list needs to be separated by semicolons: Four places were listed in the newspaper article: Trenton, New Jersey; Los Angeles, California; Dallas, Texas; and Miami, Florida. As you can see, using the semicolon helps to properly group the items in the list and makes it easier for the reader to determine what they are.

Another use of the colon is to introduce a quote. When used this way, the actual quote is most often set off by indenting it on both sides (some grammarians believe that it’s acceptable to indent only on the left side). When introducing a quote with a colon, it is unnecessary to use quotation marks.

Yet another use of the colon is in salutations in formal business letters. Instead of using a comma after “Dear Mr. Smith,” you should be using a colon, if you are writing formally to him.

The final use of a colon in today’s blog post (there are others, which I will rely on your thirst for knowledge to research) is to elucidate a point being made in a sentence or title. This use of the colon is often used in book titles. For example, Hoda Kotb’s latest book is called Ten Years Later: Six People Who Faced Adversity and Transformed Their Lives. You may have noticed that I often use colons in the titles of my blog posts. The first part of the title is what I consider a “teaser,” usually an attempt to grab your attention. The second part of the title – the part that follows the colon – is a further description of what the post is going to contain.

A colon should NOT be used when the clause preceding the list ends in a verb or a preposition.  (Example: The types of books I read are biography, non-fiction and fiction. Or: My purposes for writing a grammar blog are to educate the public, help people communicate better and show how better writing can make a better impression.)

Somewhat related to the colon, but serving a completely different purpose, is the semicolon. This looks like a hybrid of a period and a comma, with the period being stacked on top of the comma. Semicolons are useful little punctuation marks that are often forgotten.

The main use of a semicolon is to separate two independent clauses. Independent clauses are groups of words that can stand alone as sentences in their own right. (Example: I have always enjoyed reading; it is one of my favorite pastimes.) In the preceding example, you could easily replace the semicolon with a period and capitalize “it” to make two complete sentences.

Many times a connector word is used between the two independent clauses. Most often, these connectors are “therefore” or “however.” It is important to remember that, when using such a connector after the semicolon, the connector should be followed by a comma. (Example: It is raining today; therefore, I am not going jogging. Or: It is raining today; however, I am still going jogging.)  

It is also important to note that the two halves of a sentence separated by a semicolon (i.e., the two independent clauses) should be related to each other, in terms of the idea being expressed in each one.  It is incorrect to link two independent clauses with a semicolon if one of the clauses introduces a new idea into the sentence.  In other words, if two separate ideas are being communicated, you should separate the independent clauses into two complete sentences, punctuated by periods.

IT is NEVER correct to separate two independent clauses by a comma (instead of a semicolon), unless a conjunction is used.  (Example: It is past midnight, and I am tired. Or: I received an invitation to the meeting, but I have another appointment at that time.)

There you have it!  I hope you have found this brief examination of the colon and semicolon informative, and a useful diagnostic tool for your own communications.  Now, that didn’t hurt, did it?

The bestest way to make a much worser impression on a prospective employer is to misuse superlative or comparative forms of adjectives! If you looked at the preceding sentence and cringed, that is a good sign, because it means that you recognized my blatant use of the non-words “bestest” and “worser.” If you did not, then, please read further.

We use adjectives when describing people or things, because we are using our words to paint a picture for our listeners or readers. Sometimes, the adjective alone is not enough; we want to put even MORE emphasis on the characteristic we are describing. To do so, we sometimes alter the adjective, especially if we are comparing one or more things to the thing that to which we are referring.  

In the vast majority of these instances, we can add either “er” or “est” to the adjective. For example, the word “ugly” becomes a comparative adjective when you change the “y” to “i” and add “er” – uglier. That simply means that whatever you are describing is more ugly than one other person or thing. If more than one person or thing is being compared to yours, to make yours the MOST ugly, add “est,” and you have ugliest. Here are some other examples, where the addition of “er” or “est” has transformed the word into either a comparative or a superlative:

• CLOSE (near), CLOSER (more near), CLOSEST (the most near)

• PRETTY (attractive), PRETTIER (more attractive) PRETTIEST (the most attractive)

• SLEEPY (drowsy), SLEEPIER (more drowsy), SLEEPIEST (the most drowsy)

• HARD (difficult or solid), HARDER (more difficult or solid), HARDEST (most difficult or solid)

• OLD (aged), OLDER (more aged), OLDEST (most aged)

Please note: If you use “er/est,” you do NOT need “more/most”! (For example, do NOT say: This hotel is more closer to the airport. Or: This hotel is the most closest to the museum.) The use of “more” or “most” is totally unnecessary, because the very act of adding the “er” or “est” to the adjective implies the “more” or “most” designation.

Because we are talking about the English language here, which is particularly flaky, we all know there’s bound to be an exception to every rule! There are actually times when you do NOT want to add an “er” or “est” to a word to make it comparative or superlative. This exception most often occurs if the word ends in “ful.” Examples include beautiful, thoughtful, and delightful.  For these words, you need to insert the word “more” or “most” before it in order to make a comparative or superlative statement. Examples are as follows:

That is the most beautiful rose I have ever seen.
Patricia’s answer to the question was more thoughtful than Steven’s.
Musicals are the most delightful form of entertainment.

In the case of a word which requires the use of “more” or “most” preceding it in order to designate a comparative or superlative, you do NOT need “er/est.” There is no such word as “beautifuller,” “thoughtfuller,” or “delightfuller”!!!

Another exception that involves neither “er/est” nor “more/most” is when you are comparing good things or bad things. Here are their forms:

GOOD, BETTER, BEST (Example: I had good grades, but Robert’s were better than mine, and Pricilla had the best grades in the class.)

BAD, WORSE, WORST (Example: The cornbread was bad, but the lima beans were worse, and the liver and onions were the worst of all!)

BONUS TIP:

I have written about this before, but it bears repeating: When you compare, you use THAN – not “then.” “Then” is a point in time!

BONUS TIP:

I have written about this before, but it bears repeating: When you compare, you use THAN – not “then.” “Then” is a point in time!

You say “tomato” and I say “tomAHto.” We won’t go into the pronunciation of the subjects of this week’s post. It depends on where you were reared as to whether you say “E-ther” or “I-ther,” “NE-ther” or “NI-ther.” Instead, we’ll discuss these words in the context of when they are used and how to use them correctly.

• Use EITHER as a “choice” word. You are stating two alternatives. Example: If you are ill, either stay home in bed or go to the doctor. The correct word to connect “either” with the second choice is OR.

• Use NEITHER as an “inclusive” word. There is no choice to be made here. Instead, you are lumping two things or actions together. Example: Neither staying in bed nor going to the doctor will make me feel any better. The correct connecting word to use with “neither” is NOR. This is easy to remember if you note that both “neither” and “nor” begin with the letter “n.”  

Please note that “either” and “neither” should be used when there are TWO alternatives, things or actions. Generally speaking, using them when more than two are present is discouraged, but not strictly incorrect. A great example of this is that old Postal Service motto, “Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.”

What verb form should you use in sentences containing “either” or “neither”? This can be especially confusing if one of the choices, things, or actions is singular and the other is plural. Here are two example sentences:

Either Suzie or the boys are knocking on the door.

Neither the possums nor the fox is getting into the hen house.

The rule is that the choice that follows the connecting word (“or” or “nor”) determines the verb form to use. In the first example sentence, the choice following “or” is “the boys” – plural. Therefore, the correct verb should also be plural. In the second example sentence, “nor” is followed by “the fox,” which is singular; therefore, the singular form of the verb is used.

BONUS TIP:

FURTHER and FARTHER are two other words that cause considerable confusion. They are almost (but not quite) interchangeable, but there IS a rule about when to use each:

Use FARTHER in reference to a physical distance (miles, feet, inches, etc.)
Use FURTHER in reference to a non-physical distance (time, effort, etc.)

Here are some examples:

We should stop for gasoline here, because the next town is farther than 50 miles away.

She stated further that there would be no class on Tuesday.

When in doubt about whether you are referring to physical or non-physical distance, opt for “further,” and odds are that no one will think any less of you!

It has been a very long time since my first grammar lesson in school, but I would venture to guess that it might have involved conjugation of verbs. In addition to using the correct tense to communicate when something occurred, it is also important to indicate the singular or plural form of a verb, to clarify how many subjects are performing the action. In other words, subjects and verbs must AGREE. If you have a singular subject, the verb should be singular. If you have a plural subject, the verb form used should be plural.  

When the sentence is simple and declarative, devoid of dependent clauses, it is usually quite easy to determine the correct verb form. That is because the subject and verb are next to each other. Nothing (such as a dependent clause) comes between them.  An example of a simple declarative sentence is, “These apples are delicious.”  The subject of the sentence is “apples” – plural. Therefore, the verb needs to match and be plural, also.  If the subject and verb do not match, you end up with this:  “These apples is delicious.”  I hope that sounds wrong, to you!  

It is when the subject and verb are not in such close proximity to each other that most grammar errors occur.  Here are three sentences in which the subject and verb are separated from each other:

1. Neither of us has ever been to Biloxi.

2. Each of the events of the last few months is chronicled in my journal.

3. One out of ten women admits to feeling inadequate.

Now, let’s look at the examples in more detail.

1. Neither of us has ever been to Biloxi. It is, unfortunately, not uncommon to hear someone say, “Neither of us have ever been to Biloxi.” The speaker has misidentified “us” (plural) as the subject of the sentence and has matched the verb to it.  Actually, the subject of this sentence is “neither,” and “neither” is singular.  The word “us” is merely part of a description of the subject – not the subject itself.  That is why “has” – the singular form of the verb – is necessary.

2. Each of the events of the last few months is chronicled in my journal.  This sentence is even more complex than the first one.  The phrase “of the events” describes “each.”  The phrase “of the last few months” describes the events.  With so many words intervening between the actual subject of the sentence, which is “each,” and the verb, it is understandable (but incorrect) to pick up on the plurals in the descriptive phrases and use a plural verb form in error.  The result would be the following incorrect sentence: “Each of the events of the last few months are chronicled in my journal.”

3. One out of ten women admits to feeling inadequate.  Again, the phrase “out of ten women” describes the actual subject of the sentence, which is “one.”  But, because the descriptive phrase separates the subject from the verb, it is easy to pick up on the word closest to the verb (“women”) and erroneously match the verb to it.  The result would be “One out of ten women admit to feeling inadequate,” which is incorrect.

My famous “elimination rule” can help you when you want to test your sentence to make sure the subject and verb agree.  Simply omit anything between the subject and the verb, and “test” the sentence to make sure they agree, then reinsert the intervening words.

BONUS TIP:  

Collective nouns are words that imply more than one of something.  For example, “family” is a group of related persons.  “Herd” is a group of animals.  “Bunch” is a collection of more than one item, such as a bunch of grapes.

Even though collective nouns are used for more than one person or thing, the noun itself is treated as singular when it comes to making sure it agrees with the verb.  For example:

1.  The family is going on vacation next week.

2. The herd of cows was transported to the feed lot.

3. A bunch of flowers is growing in the pot on my patio.

Like the comma, about which I wrote in last week’s post, the apostrophe is a misunderstood and misused punctuation mark.  That’s why I have chosen to dedicate this week’s post to it.

Look at the last sentence of the preceding paragraph, and you will see an illustration of the two primary uses of apostrophes:

1.  To indicate possession. In the sentence above, this would be the word “week’s.”  (Another example would be:  The dog’s coat was sleek and shiny.)  

2. To indicate a contraction. In the sentence above, this would be the word “That’s.”  (Another example would be: Isn’t it strange that no one is here yet?)

Reason #1 above is pretty self-explanatory.  If you wish to indicate that something belongs to someone (or something) else, an apostrophe, followed by “s,” is in order.  Without the apostrophe, you have created a plural, not a possessive.

There is one notable exception to this rule, to which I devoted a blog post some weeks ago.  That is the word “its.”  When an apostrophe is added to “its,” it means “it is.”  Without the apostrophe, it means “belonging to it.”  

Reason #2 is the most misunderstood reason, in my humble opinion.  Perhaps a good rule of thumb is to remember that a contraction is an instance where something is being omitted, and the apostrophe takes its place.   For example, “can’t” is a contraction of “cannot.”  “Didn’t” is a contraction of “did not.”  Similarly, when writing about a specific decade, you can replace “19” in “1970s” with an apostrophe. (Example: Bell-bottom pants were popular in the ‘70s.) Note that you do NOT need an apostrophe before the “s.”  This is because it is a plural – not possessive or a contraction.

There is one very important reason for NOT inserting an apostrophe: To indicate a plural. For instance, if you are referring to the entire Hartman family, you should NOT write, “The Hartman’s.” Instead, you should write “The Hartmans.” Adding an “s” or “es” to a word makes it a plural. Adding an apostrophe “s” makes it a possessive.

BONUS TIP:

Many people face a conundrum when confronted with a word that ends in “s”: Where does the apostrophe go (or is an apostrophe even needed)?

Typically, if the word is possessive, you DO need an apostrophe, and it should often be followed by an “s.” For example: “We’re going over to the Jones’s house for dinner tonight.” It would also be correct to write, “We’re going over to the Jones’ house for dinner tonight.”  

When a word ends in “s” and the next word starts with “s,” you do not need another “s” after the apostrophe. For example: “Texas’ state bird is the mockingbird.”

About ten months ago, I arrived, kicking and screaming, into the 21st century, when I purchased my very first “smart phone.” For six months after that, I mocked that phone as being not as “smart” as advertised, for the simple reason that it did not appear to have a COMMA on its keyboard! I later found it, sequestered from the rest of the punctuation marks. I haven’t decided yet if the manufacturer placed the comma there, because they thought it would be more readily accessible, or because it was a place that no one would look for it!  Whatever the reason, I was thrilled when I finally found it; it was like being reunited with a long-lost best friend!

Commas are second only to periods in their usefulness. They add clarity to sentences.They can even change the meaning of sentences, depending on whether they are inserted or omitted.  Just take a look at the illustrations I’ve included in this post.  As you can readily see, the comma makes or breaks the sentences.

The simplest description of the purpose of a comma is that it is a pause.  One of my English teachers told us that, when reading a sentence aloud, you know a comma needs to be inserted whenever you need to pause to take a breath.  Although that may not be strictly accurate, there are some definite times and places in which commas are necessary. I will list just a few of them here, with the hope that you will do a bit of research to learn other uses for the comma and begin to use it to its full potential. If you do so, I think you’ll find your writing will be much more clear and effective.

1. To separate items in a list.  (Example:  The vegetable choices were potatoes, corn, peas, and carrots.)  The longer the list, the more important commas become in helping break it down and decipher it.  This is especially true if the list is made up of multiple words, because it helps to group them properly.  An example of this is:  Our departments include research and development, marketing and public relations, and human resources.

There are two schools of thought regarding whether a comma is needed preceding the penultimate item in a list (the one immediately preceding the “and”).  Back in the Dark Ages when I went to school, we were taught to include the comma.  That is called a “serial comma” or “Oxford comma.”  Nowadays, some folks do not see a need for it and lobby against using it.  

In the first example sentence above, adding a comma just before the “and” would completely change the list.  Instead of “peas” and “carrots” being two separate menu items, without the comma, it could be interpreted that the dish is a combination of both veggies.  This is an example in which the “Oxford comma” comes in very handy!

2. Separating adjectives. (Example:  She is a smart, pretty girl with a lot of potential.)  Adding the comma between the two descriptors helps to clarify this girl’s attributes, and perhaps even emphasize them.

3. Separating two independent clauses. (Example:  We drove to Elmira, but we took the train on the return trip.)  First, a definition of “independent clause” may be in order.  Simply put, an independent clause contains its own subject and verb and could stand alone as a sentence in its own right. In the example sentence, “We drove to Elmira” is one independent clause.  “We took the train on the return trip” is the second independent clause.  They are linked together with the connecting word “but.”  Therefore, a comma should be inserted before the word “but.”

4. Setting off a dependent clause. (Example: While making the bed this morning, I found a hole in the sheet.)  A dependent clause is one that cannot stand alone, because it does not have one of the essential elements of a complete sentence, either the subject or the verb.  In the above example, the dependent clause is “While making the bed this morning.”  Since there is no subject in this clause, it is dependent on the rest of the sentence, which does contain a subject, in order to make sense.  As a dependent clause, it needs the comma after “morning.”


5. Addressing a person or setting off a description of the subject of a sentence. (Example: Let’s eat, Grandpa!)  In this example, I am addressing my grandfather.  The comma is very necessary here, because without it, the sentence would state that I am EATING my grandfather, rather than calling him to dinner!  An example of setting off a description of the subject is the following example:  Jeremy, the park ranger, warned us that there were bears in the area. The commas separating “the park ranger” help to clarify that this phrase is a descriptor of Jeremy.

BONUS TIP:

As much as I love commas, and as adamantly as I feel that they enhance the effectiveness of written communications, even I have to admit that there are times when a comma is NOT appropriate!  One of these is when a comma has been inserted in a place where a period is actually the proper punctuation mark.  Here’s an example of this: Miriam took the day off, she had a headache and needed rest.

In this example, there is no connector word between the first independent clause (“Miriam took the day off”) and the second independent clause (“she had a headache and needed rest.”)  Therefore, they actually should be treated as two separate sentences, punctuated by periods. (Miriam took the day off.  She had a headache and needed rest.)  Alternatively, a connector word could be added, in which case the comma would be appropriate. (Miriam took the day off, because she had a headache and needed rest.)

All of us tend to pepper our casual, everyday speech with slang, colloquialisms, and other informal speech patterns, and there’s not necessarily anything wrong with that.  However, in more formal settings, such as presentations or speeches, or in a job interview, it behooves us to at least know how to speak more formally and correctly, in order to make the best possible impression.  This week, I have chosen three bad habits of informal speech, and my goal is to show you what’s wrong with them and why they should be avoided.

1. Beginning sentences with “So”:  First, let’s take a look at exactly what “so” means.  According to Webster’s Dictionary, it can be used as an adverb, meaning “to such a great extent.”  An example of this usage would be:  “It was so hot outside, you could fry an egg on the sidewalk.”  “So” can also be used as a conjunction, meaning “and for this reason; therefore.”  An example of this usage would be: “It was very cold, so we decided not to go to the beach.”

Now, let’s take a look at a snippet of conversation I recently overheard, in which “so” was used incorrectly:

MOM: Why were you late getting home last night?

DAUGHTER: So, Timothy had engine trouble, and we had to wait for a tow truck.

Based on what I have observed, it appears that “So” is the new “Uh.”  I reached this conclusion by process of elimination.  I simply took the proper definitions of “so” and tried to apply them to the above conversation, and I did this by substituting “so” with one of the definitions.  What I got was this:

MOM: Why were you late getting home last night?

DAUGHTER: To such a great extent, Timothy had engine trouble, and we had to wait for a tow truck.”

OR

DAUGHTER: Therefore, Timothy had engine trouble, and we had to wait for a tow truck.

Neither of these sentences makes sense.  That leads me to conclude that “so” was not used properly, and I can only assume that it was a “filler” word, like “uh,” that the daughter used to gain her another millisecond in which to come up with a good excuse for why she was late!

2. Beginning sentences with “Now”: This one is a bit trickier.  Of course, it’s perfectly acceptable to begin a sentence with “Now,” especially if you are indicating that the action is occurring at the present time.  Webster’s Dictionary also states that it is acceptable to use it when pointing out or stressing a fact.  What raises my hackles, though, is when a speaker overuses this speech pattern.  You’ve heard the saying, “Familiarity breeds contempt.”  That’s how I feel about speakers who consistently and continually begin their sentences with “Now.”  

Interestingly, in my observations, this is a phenomenon that occurs most often with reporters on local news stations.  I once counted nine consecutive sentences, spoken by a reporter doing a live feed from a crime scene, which she began with “Now”! Assuming that she was using the term as a means of emphasizing her points, there still comes a time when enough is enough, and the word becomes superfluous, rather than important, in her speech.

3. Liking “like” too much:  I like the word “like,” but there are times when it is just not appropriate.  The prime example of this when a person who is recounting a conversation says, “And Jeremy was like, ‘What are your talking about?’ And I was like, ‘I’m talking about the plot of that movie we saw.’”

According to Webster’s Dictionary, “like” can be used as a verb, meaning “to enjoy; to regard; to feel affection for (someone or something).”  It can also be used as an adjective, meaning “to have the same or similar qualities; comparable to.”  I am not at all sure exactly when or how it became commonplace for speakers to preface quotes with “like.”  What I am sure about is that I did not find any reference to the acceptability of using “like” as a substitute for “said”!  I also am equally certain that misusing “like” in this way does not sound professional and should be avoided.

It’s time once again for me to empty my “blooper basket” and challenge you with the top ten grammar gaffs I read or overheard during the past couple of weeks.  First, I will quote them, verbatim, and you can have fun discerning exactly what is wrong with each sentence.  Then, if you keep scrolling down to the end of this post, I’ll reveal the answers.  Have fun!

1. Scarlett was cohorsed to do this.

2. This is all the closer he’s getting to it.

3. There were a cluster of storms that popped up.

4. Action sculptures your life.

5. Walter thinks he might’ve saw something.

6. Alls you have to do is login to our website.

7. She just turned one years old.

8. My heart’s broke!

9. None of this would have came out if he had kept his mouth shut.

10. I ain’t kilt nobody, man!


ANSWERS:

1. Scarlett was cohorsed to do this.  Assuming that Scarlett was under some kind of duress, I believe what this speaker was actually trying to say is that she was coerced.  A good rule of thumb:  It’s never a good idea to try to impress someone with your vocabulary, if you don’t actually know the correct vocabulary word!  This speaker could just as easily have said, “Scarlett was forced to do this,” thus getting her point across without sounding like an idiot in the process.

2. This is all the closer he’s getting.  “Closer” is a word of comparison.  In this sentence, there is nothing to compare to it.  To be correct, the writer should have stated, “This is as close as he’s getting.”


3. There were a cluster of storms that popped up.  It is a common mistake, when a descriptive phrase is added to the subject of a sentence, that the speaker will lose track of what the actual subject of the sentence is.  In this example, the subject of the sentence is cluster.  It is a collective noun, and as such, it is treated as singular.  The phrase “of storms” describes the cluster.  The correct sentence should have been, “There was a cluster of storms that popped up.”

4. Action sculptures your life.  A sculpture is a thing (noun), not a verb.  The correct verb form is sculpt; therefore, the correct sentence should have been: "Action sculpts your life."


5. Walter thinks he might’ve saw something.  Sometimes, I have to resist the urge to tattoo the correct forms of the verb “see” onto people’s foreheads!  “Might’ve” is the past perfect, in contraction form, of “might have.”  Therefore, the correct verb form of “see” should be seen.  The correct sentence should have been, “Walter thinks he might’ve seen something.”

6. Alls you have to do is login to our website. The word “all” is already plural!  It does not need an “s” added to it.  Additionally, “login” written as one word is a noun, not a verb.  It should be separated into two words if the speaker intends to use it as a verb. Therefore, all this speaker needed to say to be correct was, “All you have to do is log in to our website.”


7. She just turned one years old. Here we go again!  The child to whom the speaker refers in this sentence apparently just celebrated her first birthday.  ONE is singular; therefore, “year” should be, also! The correct sentence should be:  “She just turned one year old.”

8. My heart’s broke!  As sorry as I feel for this poor, lovelorn speaker, my sympathy was tempered by the “fingernails-on-a-blackboard” reaction I had to her description of her feelings!  She would have had my full, unadulterated sympathy, however, if she had only said, “My heart’s broken.”  That perfect tense (“has broken”) is so often used imperfectly, alas!


9. None of this would have came out if he had kept his mouth shut. Another imperfect use of the perfect tense is evident in this sentence.  The correct conjugation of the verb “to come” in the past perfect tense is “have come.”  Ergo, the correct sentence would have been:  “None of this would have come out if he had kept his mouth shut.”

10. I ain’t kilt nobody, man!  The speaker, the prime suspect in a murder investigation, would have been in a heap of trouble if the Grammar Police were judging him!  I perhaps could find him “not guilty” of using “ain’t” in his sentence, since Webster’s Dictionary now recognizes it as a legitimate word meaning “am not, are not, is not, have not, has not, do not, does not, did not.”  However, I find it harder not to judge him harshly for using the word “kilt,” which is a type of dress associated with Scotsmen and not the past tense of “kill.” Also, I wonder if the suspect realizes that he actually admitted to the accusation, by virtue of the fact that he employed a double negative.  If he did not kill NObody, then he must have killed SOMEbody! Bottom line: He could have helped his case much more if had said, “I didn’t kill anybody, man!”

The goal of every good communicator should be to say what he or she means, as clearly and concisely as possible.  Using double negatives in writing or speech certainly throws a roadblock in the path of that lofty plan!  At best, use of double negatives gives the impression that the writer or speaker must have fallen asleep in eighth grade English class on the day double negatives were discussed.  At worst, more discerning readers/listeners may be confused as to what you actually mean, resulting in your communication being dismissed altogether.

I strongly suspect that one of the motivations for using double negatives is the mistaken belief that they emphasize the negativity of the statement.  Perhaps they reason that, if it’s acceptable to say, “This food is very, very good,” to emphasize that the food is even better than just “very” good, then adding two negative words to a sentence will have the same effect.  Unfortunately, however, this is not the case.

The simple fact is that double negatives “cancel each other out.”  In other words, two negatives make a positive.  For example, take that famous line from the Rolling Stones song: “I can’t get no satisfaction.”  If Mick Jagger cannot get NO satisfaction, then that must mean that he is getting SOME satisfaction.   Here are a few other examples to illustrate how double negatives turn the statements into positive ones:

“She didn’t say nothing to him!”  She must have said SOMEthing, because she said that she failed to say nothing at all.  To fix this sentence, simply say, “She didn’t say anything to him,” or “She said nothing to him.” Take out one of the negatives, and the statement becomes what you intended to say.

“I didn’t see nobody.”  The speaker must have seen SOMEone, because he failed to see no one at all. Again, remove one of the negatives.  You can say, “I didn’t see anybody,” or “I saw nobody,” and your point is made.

“He doesn’t have no time for that nonsense.”  If he does not have a dearth of time, then he must have at least SOME time for nonsense! The best way to fix this sentence would be to say, “He doesn’t have time for that nonsense.” Or, if you really want to emphasize the lack of time, you can say, “He doesn’t have ANY time for that nonsense.”

Here’s a tip:  To correct a double negative in a sentence, simple delete the “no” and replace it with “any.”  And here’s a way to remember it: “No ‘noes,’ please.”

There’s another form of double negative that’s a bit more subtle, because it does not have the blatant use of “not” and “no” in the same sentence.  Instead, it uses “can’t hardly” or “doesn’t hardly.”  Here’s an example: “I was laughing so hard I couldn’t hardly breathe.”  

According to Webster’s Dictionary, “hardly” means “scarcely; true to an insignificant extent; barely, only just; slightly.”  Applying this definition to the sentence above, if you “can’t hardly breathe,” then that means that you are unable to “slightly” breathe; indeed, you either not breathing at all (which is not “hardly” breathing), or you are breathing quite normally! Of course, everyone knows that, when you laugh very hard, you often get short of breath.  If that is, indeed, what the speaker meant to express in this example, then she should have said, “I was laughing so hard that I could hardly breathe,” or “I was laughing so hard that I couldn’t breathe.”

Here’s another example: “It doesn’t hardly matter to me one way or the other.”  If it truly does not matter at all, then “hardly,” which means “slightly,” should be deleted, because “hardly” implies that it DOES matter at least a bit. Therefore, the corrected sentence should be, “It does not matter to me one way or the other.”


BONUS TIP:

Inevitably, there’s an exception to just about everything, and this week’s bonus tip is the exception wherein a double negative actually DOES stay negative.  Consider this example:  “You just can’t not go to the party, because it’s going to be fun.”

What I assume the speaker is trying to say here is that the person to whom he is speaking really SHOULD go to the party, because it’s going to be fun.  However, the speaker has communicated in such a convoluted manner that it actually takes a second or two to untangle his sentence and come to this conclusion!

It seems as if I am hearing this type of double negative more and more lately.  Once again, I surmise that the intention is to emphasize the negativity.  Although it may not be technically incorrect to say, in essence, “You are unable to not go…” it certainly would be easier on the ears of this speaker’s listeners if he would just simply say, “You should go to the party, because it’s going to be fun,” or “You really shouldn’t stay away, because it’s going to be fun.”  

Bottom line: It is no sin to be DIRECT and PRECISE.  If you have something to say, and you truly want to be heard, the best way to do this is to get to the point!

Sometimes, I think that the correct use of who and whom has gone the way of the Edsel automobile, floppy disks, and the 8-track tape. (Children, ask your parents or grandparents, if you don’t know what these are.)  It seems as if nobody uses these two pronouns correctly nowadays! Like technology, language does evolve, but over a much longer period of time.  Perhaps someday, the rule about when to use who and when to use whom will change, but for now, the following are the usages that make grammarians happy.

The rule, in a nutshell, is:

WHO = Subject of the sentence. (Example:  “Who is going to the movies tonight?”)
WHOM = Object of the sentence. (Example: “I returned the wallet to whom it belonged.”)

How do you tell if the word is a subject or an object?  Here’s the rule:

The SUBJECT is always the person or thing performing the action.
The OBJECT is always the person or thing affected by the action.

If you are still a bit confused on which is correct, always remember that an object is going to be preceded by a preposition (to, of, for, etc.).  Virtually everyone has heard the phrase, “To whom it may concern…”  Keep that in mind – and remember the “to” – to help you remember when whom is the appropriate word.

A good way to figure out which of the two words to use in a sentence is to substitute “he” or “she,” “him” or “her.”  He and she are always used as subjects of the sentence. Him and her are always used as objects. Therefore, if “he” or “she” is correct, then who will be correct.  If “him” or “her” is correct, then whom would be the appropriate substitute.

Let’s apply this tip to the two sample sentences above.  Substitute he in the first example for “who.”  “He is going to the movies tonight” sounds correct, doesn’t it?  To say, “Him is going to the movies” would be incorrect.  Therefore, if you are inquiring about what person is going, you would need to use who.   In the second example sentence, put her in place of “whom” (you can delete the rest of the sentence). The sentence would then read, “I returned the wallet to her,” which is correct.  It would not be correct (and should not sound correct to you) to say, “I returned the wallet to she.”  Therefore, whom would be the correct word to use.

Here is yet another misuse of the word “who.”  You hear it all the time – people who ask, “Who are you speaking to?”  Well, aside from the fact that this sentence ends with a preposition, which is incorrect (more on prepositions in a future blog post), the use of “who” is, as well.  The substitution trick works with this sentence.  If you say, “Are you speaking to she?” it’s pretty clear that that is incorrect.  Since “she” is connected with “who,” then you will know that whom would be correct, because “her” is connected to “whom.”  (“Are you speaking to her?”)

A lot of people think they sound more sophisticated when they throw “whom” into their speech every now and then.  But, if it is used incorrectly, they end up sounding ignorant, not erudite.  Knowing when to use “who” and when to use “whom” can make a very good impression on your listeners or readers!

BONUS TIP #1:

And, while I’m on the subject of who, I may as well tackle the frequent misspelling of the possessive form of this word.  The correct possessive form of "who" is whose.  The word “who’s” (with the apostrophe) means who is.  Here are a couple of sample sentences, using who’s and whose correctly:

“Who’s going to the movies with me?” (Translation: “Who is going to the movies with me?”)

“Whose bag is that on the table over there?” (Translation: “To whom does that bag on the table over there belong?”)

BONUS TIP #2:

Just a reminder:  A person is a who, not a “that”!!!  All the time, I hear people say things like, “She’s the one that asked me if Rodney is single,” or “People that slurp their soup really irritate me.”  These sentences should read: “She’s the one who asked me if Rodney is single,” and “People who slurp their soup really irritate me.”

"That" is a reference to a thing.  People are not things!  Call me picky, if you will, but I consider references to human beings by using “that” to be dehumanizing and a sign of disrespect.  Please, please, please, recognize the humanity of the person to whom you are referring, and use who!

The words “affect” and “effect” can be confusing, even to us grammarians! I believe that’s because, depending on the context in which they are used, they can “role-play” as something other than their traditional parts of speech. To avoid even more confusion, I will stick to tradition in this week’s post, and we can worry about the “maverick” uses at another time.

These are the most frequently used roles of “affect” and “effect”:

Affect = Verb, meaning “to produce a change.”
Example:  His failing grade will affect his chances for getting into college.

Effect = Noun, meaning “the result of a cause.”
Example:  The effects of the tornado will be felt for a long time.

When facing the “affect/effect” dilemma, I have devised a couple of tricks that help me to determine which one is correct in the context of the sentence I’m writing.  

The first one is to remember that a verb is an action word, and “affect” starts with an “a,” just like “action.”  Putting two and two together (in this case, the “a” in the two words “action” and “affect”), I can remember that, when the word is being used as an action, it needs to be affect.

I apply a similar thought process when deciding whether “effect” is the correct word to use.  As stated above, “effect” means a result. The word “result” does not have an “a” anywhere in it, but it does have an “e.”  Therefore, I can remember that the presence of an “e” in both words is a signal that, when I am trying to describe a result of something, I need to use the word with the “e” in it, which is effect.

Does this make sense?  If not, perhaps you can devise similar tricks that prod your memory into the correct choice of words.

BONUS TIP:

Two other words that can cause confusion are “then” and “than.”  But fear not!  I also have a trick for remembering which one of them is correct within the context of a sentence.  First, the definitions of each:

Then = A point in time.
Example:  If it rains, then the wedding will be moved indoors.

Than = A comparison word.
Example: Marlo’s apple is bigger than mine.

I look to the key words in the definitions of “then” and “than” to prod my memory as to which one is correct for the sentence I am writing.  For “then,” the key word in the definition is time.  Since “time” and “then” both contain an “e,” I relate them together and can remember that, when writing about the time in which something occurred, I need to use the word with the “e” – then.  Similarly, the key word in the definition of “than” is compare.  This word contains an “a,” and so does the word “than.”  Therefore, whenever I wish to compare something, I need the word that contains the “a” – than.

So many irregular verbs, so little time to learn how to conjugate them!  This week’s blog post is dedicated to six of those verbs that are horribly misused and abused. The cardinal sin that is most often committed with these verbs is that the speaker uses their past perfect tense when they should be using the past tense instead.  This mistake really makes me tense, so I’d like to take a few minutes to list the words, point out the mistake, and offer you a useful tip to help you navigate this tense tightrope.

First, a brief explanation of what I mean by “irregular” verbs.  These are verbs that change dramatically when used in either the past or the past perfect tense.  You can’t just slap an “ed” on the end of these particular verbs and instantly create a past tense version of them.

Next, I should explain what “past perfect” tense is and how it differs from your plain old, garden variety past tense.  Past perfect tense is used when something occurred before another action in the past, or before a specific time in the past.  The following example contains two usages of the past perfect tense:  If I had read the assignment, I would have made a better grade on the exam.  No doubt, you easily spotted the past perfect (“had read” and “have made”).  In this particular example, the verbs were regular; however, it is when an irregular verb is being used that the problems occur!

And now, without further ado, the six most abused and misused irregular verbs.  Below, I have listed three tenses for each of them: present, past and past perfect:

1. See, Saw, Seen – If I had a nickel for every time I heard someone say, “I seen it on TV,” or something similar, I’d be a rich woman!  The past tense of “see” is saw!  “Seen” is the past perfect tense.  The sentence above could be corrected by saying either, “I saw it on TV,” or “I have seen it on TV.”

2. Go, Went, Gone – Please, please, please never tell anyone you “have went” anywhere!  It is correct to say, “I went to Disney World,” but it is definitely incorrect to say, “I have went to Disney World.”  Instead, if you want to make your sentence in the past perfect tense, you would say, “I have gone to Disney World.”

3. Do, Did, Done – If it was something performed in the past, you either did it or had done it.  You never “have did” it!

4. Drive, Drove, Driven – The past perfect of “drive” is driven, as in, “He has driven to Baltimore many times this year.”  He either drove there, or he has driven there.

5. Give, Gave, Given – Once again, the past perfect of “give” is given.  It is incorrect to say, “He has gave his all to the cause.” He either gave his all, or he has given it.

6. Prove, Proved, Proven – Have I proven my point with the examples I have given so far?  The past tense of “prove” is proved. The past perfect tense of “prove” is proven. Reread the first sentence of this paragraph, and you can see the correct usage of “proven” in a sentence (and, as a bonus, the correct usage of “given,” also).

Do you see a commonality in the above examples?  I hope so, because therein lies my tip for helping you know which verb form is correct.  The past perfect tense always needs a “helper” word.  Typically, the “helper” word is “have” or “had.”  An easy way to remember this is to think of the “helper” word and the verb as the perfect couple.  In order to create the perfect tense, you need the perfect couple!

Unfortunately, I don’t know a simple trick for remembering the conjugated irregular verb forms.  I think it’s just necessary to memorize them!  But if you can remember the “perfect couple” tip, and remember that the perfect tense is most often the third one in the order of conjugation, this should help you avoid sounding like one of the Beverly Hillbillies when you speak.

Due to the Memorial Day holiday and subsequent shorter work week, I decided not to dedicate this week’s blog to a specific grammar or effective writing topic.  Instead, I thought I’d share some of the grammar gaffs that I have encountered recently.  Many of these were heard on television and radio – a scary scenario, given the number of people who were exposed to them!  A few were in writing, and a couple of them were from overheard conversations.  

I will list them below “as is,” giving you the opportunity to test yourself and see if you can spot the error.  SPOILER ALERT:  I will give you the answers at the end of this post, so don’t scroll to the bottom until you’re ready to have the answers revealed!

1. “The roads were lined with graveside cemeteries.”
2. “One out of ten women have felt badly about their bodies.”
3. “They kept throwing themselves into untenuous situations.”
4. “They issued him with an entry visa.”
5. “The longer the time goes by, the less chance we have to find them.”
6. “One out of ten students die before graduation.”
7. “I guess moms do knows best.”
8. “Leads come in, but none of them are solid.”
9. “Shareholders approved a 35% pay increase. That’s up from the year before.”
10. “There’s a good deal of sunshine basking down on us today.”
11. “The last of the rescue ships arrive offshore.”
12. “Happy belated birthday to Kim Hendron.”

ANSWERS:

1. “The roads were lined with graveside cemeteries.”  I believe this sentence should read, “The roads were lined with cemeteries.”  Since cemeteries contain graves, “graveside cemeteries” is redundant at best and nonsensical at worst!  

2. “One out of ten women have felt badly about their bodies.”  There are actually three errors in this sentence.  

First, the word “badly” should be “bad.”  This is because, whenever using one of the “sense” verbs (feel, taste, look or smell) in a descriptive manner rather than an active manner, an adjective is the proper descriptor, not an adverb.  In the above sentence, the women are not feeling with their fingers (which would be the act of feeling); instead, their state of mind is being described.  Therefore, the adjective “bad” is correct.

The second error is one of subject and verb agreement.  “One” is the subject of this sentence, and obviously, it is singular. Therefore, the verb should be singular also (“has”).  

Third, the writer has used the word “their.”  “Their” is a plural word.  Since the subject of this sentence is singular (one woman), “her” would have been the correct word to use.

Bottom line:  The correct sentence would be: “One out of ten women has felt bad about her body.”


3. “They kept throwing themselves into untenuous situations.” The problem with this sentence is usage of the non-word “untenuous.”  The word “tenuous” means “very weak or slight, doubtful or dubious.”  This is not a word to which one can attach the “un” prefix, but if it was possible, then the speaker would have been saying that the situation was not weak or slight.  I believe the writer meant to say the situations were untenable, which would mean that they were not able to be maintained or defended.

4. “They issued him with an entry visa.”  “They” – whoever “they” are – did not issue the person (“him”).  They issued the visa.  It’s that pesky little preposition, “with” that makes this sentence incorrect.  The correct sentence should read, “They issued him an entry visa.” Alternatively, the sentence may be written as follows: “They issued an entry visa to him.”


5. “The longer the time goes by, the less chance we have to find them.”  Time does not go by longer.  The correct sentence would be, “The more time goes by, the less chance we have to find them.”

6. “One out of ten students die before graduation.” This is another sentence in which the subject and verb do not agree.  “One” is the subject of this sentence, not “students.”  Therefore, the correct sentence would be, “One out of ten students dies before graduation.”  

7. “I guess moms do knows best.”  This is another tragic case of singular and plural mix-ups!  The correct sentence should be, “I guess moms do know best.”

8. “Leads come in, but none of them are solid.”  There certainly was a lot of disagreement between subjects and verbs in the errors I discovered this week!  As I explained in a previous post, the word “none” is singular. (It means “no one” or “not one”).  This sentence should have read, “Leads come in, but none of them is solid.”

9. “Shareholders approved a 35% pay increase. That’s up from the year before.”  I threw this one in as a bit of a trick!  There is nothing grammatically wrong with either of the two sentences.  However, the second sentence is redundant.  If the pay increased, then does it not stand to reason that that’s up? Obviously, the speaker wanted to clarify that the increase was from last year.  He could have done that in the first sentence.  Thus, had I been writing this, I would have said, “Shareholders approved a 35% pay increase over last year.”

10. “There’s a good deal of sunshine basking down on us today.” “Basking” means to lie exposed to warmth and light.  The sunshine is not being exposed to warmth and light; it is warmth and light. I would have said, “There is a good deal of sunshine beaming down on us today.”

11. “The last of the rescue ships arrive offshore.”  Yet another case of singular and plural disagreement.  (Note to self: Dedicate a blog post to this oh-so-common error!)  The correct sentence should be, “The last of the rescue ships arrives offshore.”

12. “Happy belated birthday to Kim Hendron.”  I see and hear this one all the time!  It is not the birthday that is belated, it is the birthday greeting.  Therefore, the correct sentence would be, “Belated Happy Birthday to Kim Hendron.”

How did you do?  I hope you found most of these grammar gaffs easy to spot, and that you had fun uncovering them.

Personal pronouns are some of the most frequently used words in the English language – and perhaps the most abused.  In particular, “me,” “myself” and “I” are horribly confused and abused.  Hardly a day goes by that I don’t want to whip out my proofreading pen and correct something in writing, or yell at my television, the radio, or another person to correct the use of one or more of these words!  In my humble opinion, nothing makes a person sound more uneducated than misuse of these pronouns!  What makes it even more egregious to my tortured ears and bloodshot eyes is the fact that there is a simple, quick and foolproof way to determine which word is appropriate.

Almost all grammar gaffs involving “me,” “myself” and “I” occur when the pronoun is paired with another subject or object in a sentence.  Here’s a shining example of the kind of thing that sets my teeth on edge: “Me and James went to the ballgame last night.”  

There are actually two things wrong with the preceding sentence. First, when referring to oneself in conjunction with another, the personal pronoun (“me” in this example) should always be last.  Think of it as “verbal chivalry.”  You should always put the other person ahead of yourself.  Second, the word “me” in this sentence is incorrect. It is being used as a subject of the sentence – the doer of the action. Therefore, the correct usage should be: “James and I went to the ballgame last night.”  One simple rule to remember is that “I” is always a “doer” word – the subject of a sentence.

Just as people constantly (and incorrectly) use “me” when they should use “I,” so also do they use “I” when they should use “me”!  Here’s an example: “The guests brought gifts for Richard and I.” At least in this case, the “verbal chivalry” is there (the speaker put “I” last).  However, the gifts were brought for Richard and me, not Richard and I!  

In this example, “me” is an object, rather than the subject of the sentence.  In other words, something is being done to “me,” rather than “me” being the doer. Another simple rule: “Me” is always a “done-to” word – the object of the action.

And then, there’s “myself,” the third Musketeer of misused pronouns!  “Myself” is what is known as a reflexive pronoun.  That means that it is an object, a “done-to” word, rather than the subject of a sentence, and you would only use "myself" if you are the one doing the thing to “myself.”  For example: ”I hate myself.” Another example is: “I gave myself a pedicure.”  

You should not say, “Meredith and myself are going to the beach.”  That’s because nothing is being done to “myself” in this sentence.  You need the “doer” word, “I,” to make this sentence correct.  Similarly, it would be incorrect to say, “Timothy gave the tickets to Jonathan and myself.”  That’s because Timothy is the doer, not “myself,” so “me” would be the correct object to use.

Of course, there is always that cliché, “There’s an exception to every rule.” The exception for “myself” is that it can also be used for emphasis. For example, “I myself don’t like black beans.” I’m emphasizing in this example that I’m speaking for myself, personally, and not for anyone else.

THE PROCESS OF ELIMINATION TEST:

Is your mind boggled now?  Here’s the simple, quick and foolproof tip I promised in the first paragraph of this post. I call it the “Process of Elimination Test,” and I hope it will be the broom to sweep away all of the confusion:

Simply take out one of the two subjects or objects of the sentence and then say or think the sentence with only the personal pronoun in it. (You can do this silently, to yourself, to avoid appearing to be a lunatic in front of others.) I will go through each of the example sentences used above and show you how this works.

1. “Me and James went to the ballgame last night.”  Eliminate “James” from the sentence and then repeat what you have left: “Me went to the ballgame last night.” Does this sound correct to you (I sincerely hope not!)? If not, then you know that the correct pronoun would be “I.” You need the “doer” word, and “I” is always the “doer” word! Say it one more time, with the correct pronoun: “I went to the ballgame last night.”  There! Isn’t that better?  Now, just add “James” back in, and don’t forget your verbal chivalry.  What you should end up with is, “James and I went to the ballgame last night.”

2. “The guests brought gifts for Richard and I.” When you eliminate “Richard,” the resulting sentence would be, “The guests brought gifts for I.”  If your antennae detect the incorrectness of this, then you’ll know that this sentence needs the “done-to” word (object), and that word would be “me.” Therefore, the correct sentence would be, “The guests brought gifts for Richard and me.” Voila!

3. “Meredith and myself are going to the beach.” Eliminate “Meredith” from the sentence and repeat it: “Myself are (is) going to the beach.”  It sounds wrong, doesn’t it?  Replace it with the correct pronoun; in this case, it needs the “doer” word: “Meredith and I are going to the beach.”  Now, that didn’t hurt, did it?

The Process of Elimination Test works when you have any number of subjects or objects in a sentence; just eliminate all of the subjects/objects except the personal pronoun.  I have yet to find a single instance in which the Process of Elimination Test did not work to clarify which pronoun was the correct one to use!  The more you use the test, the easier it will get.  I’m willing to bet that, before you know it, you’ll be using the correct pronoun automatically and won’t even need the test to be your best in this particular grammar category!

BONUS TIP:

Alas, “me,” “myself” and “I” are not the only abused and confused pronouns.  “He” and “she,” “him” and “her” are also victims of misuse.  The good news is that the Process of Elimination Test works for these, too!  Here’s all you need to remember about these pronouns:

1. “He” and “she” are the doer words – the subjects of sentences.
2. “Him” and “her” are the done-to words – the objects of sentences.

Now, just to prove to you that YOU CAN DO IT, here are a few sentences for practice.  Use the “doer” and “done-to” rules and the Process of Elimination Test, don’t forget your verbal chivalry, and see for yourself how easy it is to correct the grammar!

1. “Me and him are best friends.”
2. “The exam was really easy for she and  I.”
3. “Him and her went jogging in the park.”

Sometimes, the spoken word and the written word sound alike, but seeing the words actually in writing can be a dead giveaway as to whether the writer is a good grammarian.  And, since the written word is more permanent, mistakes can haunt you for a long, long time!  Compound words can be special pitfalls when they are written.  Here are a few that are often misused:

Everyday/Every Day:  When written as one word, “everyday” is an adverb describing something as regular and repetitive.  For example: “My everyday routine includes going to work.”  If written as two words, however, “every day” is a time period.   For example: “I do the laundry every day.”



Everyone/Every One: Here’s another “every” quandary!  When written as one word, you are referring to an entire group.  For example: “Everyone had a great time at the party.”  When split into two words, however, “every one” describes individuals. For example, “Every one of the flowers has wilted.”  

Already/All Ready: When written as one word, “already” describes something that has happened beforehand.  For example: “The report has already been submitted.”  But, if written as two words, “all ready” describes something that has been completely prepared.  For example: “Jane is all ready to go to the store.”

Alright/All Right: There is some controversy about whether or not “alright” is actually a word. To be absolutely correct in your writing, I recommend always using the two word version.    However, if you do choose to use the one-word version, please be sure to spell it correctly, with only one “l”!









Cannot/Can Not:  Some grammarians do not differentiate between the one-word and two-word versions, stating that either is correct. However, the majority still agrees that “cannot” is preferred when you are writing about something that is prohibited or impossible.  For example: “You cannot possibly expect me to believe that!”  “Can not” (as two words) should not be used in formal writing, unless you are describing a suggested negative action.  For example, “If you feel sick, you can not go into work today.”  In this example, you are not stating that it is prohibited or impossible for the person to go to work, but you are offering an option of not going, instead.

BONUS TIP:

There is no such word as “noone”!  It is always two words (no one). “None” is a contraction of “not one.” And it is singular! For example: “None of the students is signing up for English next fall.”  

I was watching an episode of “CSI” the other day, in which Hodges, the brainy but socially inept lab technician, tries to interact with a six-year-old. Hodges goes into excruciating detail about the phenomenon of REM sleep, in an effort to explain to the boy that he had had a dream.  The blank look on the kid’s face was priceless!

Avoiding a similar reaction to your own communications may be as simple as knowing your audience – or at least having a goal in mind as to what type of audience you want to reach.  Unless you’re talking to yourself or writing in a private journal, you no doubt are trying to connect with your audience.   Here are a few things to keep in mind to help you achieve this:

1. According to a study conducted by the National Center for Educational Statistics, the average reading level in the U.S. is 8th or 9th grade.  Styling your prose with this in mind will ensure that it can be understood by the maximum number of people. This does not mean that you have to “dumb down” your communications, but it does mean that you need to write clearly.

One way to do this is to use shorter, more commonly understood words instead of long or obscure ones.  This will not only make you more likely to be understood, but also it can help you avoid the embarrassment of misusing a word.  One thing I see often in my proofreading and editing projects is writers trying to sound erudite by using those “$100 words” of multiple syllables, only to use them improperly, totally ruining the impression that they hoped to make!

Here is an example of something I recently read that illustrates my point:  “They kept throwing themselves into untenuous situations.” There is no such word as “untenuous.”  The word tenuous, however, means “very weak, slight or unsubstantial.”  UNtenous, if it existed as a word, would mean that it was not weak, slight or unsubstantial. I believe what the writer was actually trying to say is that they kept throwing themselves into untenable situations, meaning situations that could not be maintained, defended or justified.

The moral of this story: There’s certainly nothing wrong with having a good vocabulary and using it. However, it’s always a good idea to use words you actually know – or at least break out the Webster’s Dictionary to double-check them if you are not sure what they mean.  And keep in mind that, if you are not sure what they mean, it’s a reasonable assumption that your audience may not be sure, either!

2. Acronyms and jargon can also sabotage your communications.  For example, while everyone in the U.S. probably knows what the “IRS” is, fewer people may be familiar with the DOJ (Department of Justice), DOD (Department of Defense), POTUS (President of the United States) or NSA (National Security Agency). If you choose to use acronyms, a good rule of thumb is to define them the first time you use them.  Similarly, use of jargon (words typically used in a specific profession or industry, such as “legalese” or computer-specific terminology) can cause a communication gap.  If it cannot be avoided altogether, then at least define the terminology on first usage, so your audience doesn’t get lost in what may sound like a foreign language to them!

3. Similarly, using slang or colloquialisms can turn off your audience.  To reach the largest number of readers or listeners – and to keep their attention – it is to your benefit to use more universally understood language.  This is especially important these days, when everything is “going global.”   Although you may understand when someone tells you that she is “making a bunch of dough” in her new job, this may be totally incomprehensible to someone from Russia, for example, who looks in his Russian/English dictionary and assumes she must be a baker, or wonders why in the world she would work for a company that pays her with bread!!!  

Akin to slang words and expressions are colloquialisms, which are words and phrases that are even more regional in origin and use and thus potentially confusing even to your fellow Americans.  For example, here in Texas, we might say, “That was a real frog-strangler last night.”  We’re talking about a torrential rainfall, but someone from Maine might think we spent the evening engaging in the mass murder of reptiles!

4.  Consider using a short, concise sentence structure. It will make life much easier for you and your audience!  For you, shorter sentences will help you avoid the dilemma of where and how to use that plethora of punctuation marks.  For your audience, it will help to keep them focused on the points you are making and avoid the necessity of using a mental machete to hack through a jungle of words to the meat of your message.  One of the world’s greatest writers, Ernest Hemmingway, was known for his short and powerful sentences.  If it worked for him, it can work for you!

The foregoing suggestions are intended to help you connect with a general audience – a “middle-of-the-road” approach.  Of course, there are exceptions to everything.  If you’re writing to Aunt Sally, you’ll no doubt want to be more informal than you would be writing an article for a business publication.  If you’re writing a children’s book, you obviously won’t want to make it sound like “Hamlet” or the King James Version of the Bible.  

When all else fails, RESEARCH!  If you are assigned a writing task or asked to give a presentation to a group, do a little digging to find out “to whom it may concern.” Find out as much as you can about who may be reading your article or listening to your speech, and then you can tailor your communication style to engage them and keep them engaged.

BONUS TIP:

Here a few words (or, in some cases, non-words) to avoid in your writing:

Irregardless – Although it is arguable whether or not this is a “real” word, it is definitely non-standard English.  Substitute “irrespective” to avoid controversy and confusion.

Ain’t – According to Webster’s Dictionary, this is a contraction of “are not,” “is not,” “has not” or “have not.”  However, it should be avoided, unless your communication is extremely informal.

Alright – This is not a word.  The correct terminology is “all right.”

Alot – As I was typing “alot,” my word processing software automatically (and correctly) changed it, making it two words, and then showed it as a spelling error when I overrode the autocorrect.  “Alot” is not a word!

Flustrated – You can either be flustered (agitated or confused) or frustrated (feeling annoyed at the inability to change something), but there is no such word as “flustrated.”

Invaluable – This is a legitimate word, but I believe it is often misused.  “Invaluable” means “valuable beyond estimation; priceless.”  Many times, use of the word “invaluable” is hyperbole (exaggeration).  “Valuable” is a perfectly good word and is often more suitable.

No, those are not typos in the headline. They were done on purpose, as an illustration of what a redundancy is. Unfortunately, I see many such repetitive goofs in the materials I proofread and edit, and I hear it often in everyday speech.  Perhaps people do it unconsciously. Maybe they do it because they think that it adds emphasis to what they are saying. Instead, they may be giving the impression that they don’t know the definitions of the words they use.

One of the most often used redundancies is pairing the words “whole” and “entire” in describing something. For example: “He ate the whole entire pizza and had heartburn afterwards.”  “Whole” and “entire” mean the same thing.  You can choose one or the other and still get your point across – and do it correctly.

Stringing synonyms together is not an effective way to communicate, not only because it is redundant, but also because it lengthens the sentence without adding anything new to it.  Effective communicators will always “write tight.” (I know, that should be “write tightly,” but it’s much easier to remember if it rhymes.)  That means that they choose their words carefully and make each one count. They know that padding their communication with unnecessary words can result in their audience “tuning out,” or getting tangled in a jungle of verbiage and missing the point.

A similar description that I see frequently is “little tiny.”  For example:  “That little tiny puppy is so cute!” It could be argued that “little” and “tiny” are not quite the same; “tiny” is probably smaller than “little.”  But the logic of that fails, also.  If it is “tiny,” then it stands to reason that it is “little.” You still don’t need both, and in fact using both indicates confusion as to just what size that puppy really is!




BONUS TIP:

Just as a synonym surplus weakens communication, using words that tend to contradict each other – not necessarily antonyms, but words that don’t quite “fit together” – can punch holes in your prose.  Specifically, I’m thinking of this one: “Most everyone is going to Mitch’s party.”  Do you see the problem here?  “Everyone” indicates that all are involved, but “most” indicates that a majority, but not all, are involved.  I think this one may be more of a laziness in speech (leaving out a syllable) than an actual error; in other words, I believe that the speaker actually means to say that almost everyone is going to the party.  Either way, it’s an easy fix: just add that extra syllable and make it “almost,” and you’re good to go!

Our quirky English language is full of pitfalls for those who want to speak it well.  For example, we have many words that sound alike but have different spellings and different meanings.  Words such as "sea" and "see," "hear" and "here," "whole" and "hole," are called homophones and can be the bane of any good writer’s existence.  Possibly the most used – and misused – homophones are "their," "there" and "they’re," which is why I am dedicating this week’s blog post to this triple threat to good grammar.

First, the rule:

There = In that place
They’re = They are
Their = Belonging to them

Over the years, I have created some memory tricks to help me remember which of the three words is the correct one in the context of what I am trying to communicate.

TIPS & TRICKS:

1. There:  The word "there" is simply the word "here" with a "t" added.  Since "here" indicates a location ("this one, here"), I think of the "t" as indicating "that one, there."  That helps me remember to use "there" when I want to indicate where something is.

2. They’re: As I explained in my last post, an apostrophe indicates that something has been left out, and the apostrophe is the bridge to the gap.  The word "they’re," therefore, is a contraction of "they are."

3. Their: I have linked the words "our" and "their" in my mind.  Both indicate possession.  Both end in the letter "r."  That helps me remember that "their" means "belonging to them."

BONUS TIP:

Don’t become a victim of auto-correct!  Although many word processing programs can and do save you from grammar gaffs and spelling errors, they are not all-knowing.  It pays to proofread before you send that e-mail, submit that article, or respond to that text message.  The internet is full of embarrassing examples of the foibles of auto-correct; don’t end up being one of them!

Whoever said, “Rules are made to be broken” may have been thinking of the words “its” and “it’s.” These two tiny words seem to be the victims of more confusion and grammar missteps than any others in the English language.  It’s that pesky apostrophe – or the lack thereof – that has been the downfall of many a writer.  I am planning to write an entire blog post on the poor, misunderstood apostrophe at a later date, but the “it’s/its” thing just bugs me so much that I decided to spotlight it in its very own post.

For now, suffice it to say that the main reasons to use an apostrophe are: (1) to show possession (e.g., “Mary’s coat is red.”); or (2) to indicate a contraction (something being left out of a word).  But the apostrophe has mysteriously abandoned little “it” when it comes to the possessive, making it an exception to (1) above.  I have a theory on how the possessive “its” became a maverick, but I’ll save that for another time.  Meanwhile, here is the “it” rule:

It’s = It is (or “it has,” as in “It’s been a long time.”)
Its = Belonging to it

If you reread the opening paragraph of this post, you will see that I have used both “it’s” and “its” in the context of sentences, to help illustrate the difference.  In the third sentence, I wrote, “It’s that pesky apostrophe…”  Substitute the “it’s” with “it is,” and the sentence still makes sense.  Then, in the last sentence of that paragraph, I wrote, “…I decided to spotlight it in its very own post.”  In that case, I am saying that the post belongs to “it.”

TIPS & TRICKS:

Here are a couple of ways to help you remember the “it” rule:

1.  “Its” is very self-possessed.  In other words, “its” without an apostrophe is possessive. It has all it needs without an apostrophe.  

2. Am I leaving anything out?  If you are, then you need to fill that gap with a handy little apostrophe.

BONUS TIP:

There’s one other, similar exception: “theirs.”  Example: “The world is theirs to explore.” As you can see, it does not use an apostrophe.  That is because “their” is already possessive. “Theirs” is very self-possessed, too!

Hello!
Welcome to the very first of what I hope will be many Grammar-Us blog posts. I’m very excited to begin this adventure, and I’m looking forward to taking you along with me! I’d like to dedicate this inaugural post to explaining exactly why I’m writing a grammar blog and how I hope you will find it helpful.

All of my life, I have been intrigued with words and their magic.  In fact, I have unashamedly called myself a “word nerd” and a “grammar geek” on more than one occasion, and I’m proud of it! To me, words are like jigsaw puzzle pieces.  Putting them together to create a picture for a reader or listener is fun and fascinating.

But, have you ever worked one of those jigsaw puzzles where all the pieces are shaped identically?  If you don’t have the box cover with the finished picture to use as a reference, it’s all too easy to snap the wrong pieces together, and the final product in no way resembles what it was intended to be.  So it is with writing or speaking.  You can string a bunch of words together, but if those words are not well chosen and do not “fit” with the other words in the sentence, your point is not going to get across in the way you intended.

None of us wants to get the picture wrong when we are trying to communicate with others. Unfortunately, though, sometimes our “box top” gets lost, and we no longer have a reference for what our picture should look like. In other words, we get our grammar or our punctuation wrong, or our words become jumbled, and the point we are trying to make gets lost.  This can result in anything from a misunderstanding between you and your audience, to a missed opportunity for a job promotion. Language is, like it or not, a part of the overall impression we make.   

That’s where this blog can help!  In each post, I plan to tackle a common grammar mistake, explain how it can be corrected, and give you some tips and tricks to help you remember the correct way to put all the puzzle pieces together.  The end result will be a reference that can help you be the best you can be when it comes to communicating effectively.  

Let me just add one disclaimer:  I am not perfect.  For example, I am a Texan, and we say quintessentially Texan or Southern – but not necessarily grammatical – things such as, “I’m fixin’ to…” or “Y’all.”  I sometimes end my sentences with prepositions (horrors!).  I’ve even been known to dangle a participle every now and then, and split my infinitives, too!  I can assure you, though, that I do have all of the puzzle pieces and the box top, and I’m ready, willing and able to help you puzzle out this complicated thing called the English language.

Thank you for visiting my blog.  I hope you’ll enjoy what you see here over the coming weeks and months!